Like a Parent

Like a Parent

What characterizes parents? Someone you always feel comfortable turning to when you have a problem? For Joseph it is that quality that he finds in his long time friend and close neighbors, Thomas and Rebecca Croschuk.

Thomas’ relationship with Joseph’s Uncle Mike begins with Thomas being his hired farm hand. After Mike has heart troubles, Thomas is his caregiver. Thomas’ devotion to Mike earns him one third of Mike’s estate, the remaining part going to twenty-one year old Joseph. In his will Mike asks Thomas to help Joseph learn how to farm. Thomas’ help goes well beyond what Mike hoped for as is shown in the following excerpt.

Thomas invites Joseph to go to Bakery Plus for tea and a pie.

Joseph accepts the invitation. A bowl of hot soup is more to his liking.

“So,” begins Thomas after they place their orders. “You and Jill seem to have had a great time in Hawaii.”

The previous Sunday Rebecca and Thomas came to Joseph’s to celebrate Amber’s third birthday. They also saw a power point that Jill created about their Hawaii holiday.

“We did. Better than I hoped for.” A smile lights Joseph’s face as memories surface.

Thomas notes no hesitation in Joseph’s answer. “Good. Then I take it that your plans to separate from Jill have disappeared.”

Joseph nods.

Thomas is relieved. For the last two months, he and Rebecca had prayed for them. “You know we’ll do anything we can to help you.”

“I know. You’re like parents to me. I couldn’t ask for better friends.”

How did that close relationship develop?

Not only did Thomas mentor Joseph as a farmer, but also as a carpenter and salesman at the Farmer’s Market. Through Thomas’ encouragement Joseph dared to try to win Jill’s heart. When Jill and Joseph married, Thomas and Rebecca were the first to invite them for dinner. Jill and Joseph had children. Thomas and Rebecca became godparents, not to mention handy babysitters. When Jill’s daughter, Christine, was still born, Rebecca comforted Jill for several weeks.

Jill’s low spirits frequently sent Joseph to them for advice. When Joseph was convinced that he should leave his wife, they persuaded him to seek counseling.

Friends as good as family! Do you know of such a close relationship? How did it come to be?

Amber is a glowing ember in Jill’s mind. Amber changed from a flat character to a dynamic one in Baggage burdens. See how this plays out in my next blog.

Model Friend

Model Friend

Like Gertrude Wicksberg, Rebecca Croschuk is a faithful member of the Orthodox Community Church. There, the similarity ends. In the light of Rebecca’s relations with Jill, Rebecca could be seen as a loving person.

Rebecca, though a product of her rural conservative community, is not bound by their traditions. Like people in her community she is a stay-at-home mother who has five children. They attend their church school. She’s content following the traditional female role. She plays an active role in the church’s social activities.

Rebecca is in no way related to Jill but she often comes to Jill’s aid. When Jill loses her baby, Rebecca helps her through her grieving time. Family and church are top priorities in this community. Jill strives to complete for her Grade 12 Diploma. Some women in the Orthodox Church believe that once you have children seeking higher education unnecessarily takes time and energy from those priorities. Jill is judged harshly. In comforting Jill, Rebecca characterizes those critical women as “narrow minded.” To Jill she tells her to be true to herself. “Don’t let those women dictate your life.”

Rebecca’s patience and acceptance of Jill and her emotional volatility is tested. When Rebecca told Jill that her husband, Joseph, was hurt when Jill refused to see him at the hospital after she lost her baby, Jill had quit accepting Rebecca’s visits. After several weeks Jill invites Rebecca to Joseph’s birthday party. An apology erases their strained relations.

A murmuring arises among some older women in the church when they learned that Jill went online for prenatal information instead of seeking their wisdom. Rebecca points out that Jill’s heart is in the right place. She questions where their heart is.

Supportive, forgiving friends are hard to find. Who do you have that’s like Rebecca?

Rebecca Croschuk together with her husband, Thomas, frequently act as substitute parent’s for Joseph in Baggage burdens. See how this plays out in my next blog.

Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

Wolf    in    Sheep’s    Clothing?

Gertrude Wicksberg, Eve’s mother, is another character who wasn’t on the original cast of Baggage burdens. Jill would prefer to ignore this very conservative woman. That becomes difficult after Jill’s son marries Gertrude’s daughter.

As a long time faithful member of the  Orthodox Community Church one could expect to see Gertrude cast as a caring sheep in God’s flock. How then can Jill see Gertrude as a wolf in sheep’s clothing?

Orthodox Community Church is a supportive body. Church members help Joseph build his garage that burnt down. They also work on the extension to his house and the development of a basement suite for his Camrose house. Daniel’s seventh birthday follows shortly after his sister’s birth. Mothers from the church come for Daniel’s party. They bake supervise and entertain Daniel’s friends.  At Daniel and Eve’s wedding Jill and Gertrude light a third candle to symbolize the two families coming together. Gertrude and her husband visit Jill in the hospital after her car accident.

Whenever possible Jill avoids visiting the Wicksbergs. She knows Gertrude doesn’t like her. Jill must be on her guard so as not to challenge Gertrude’s conservative values, a task she finds almost impossible. “Gertrude has a microscopic eye that would detect a saint’s flaws.”

Gertrude’s dislike for Jill manifests itself in verbal attacks. After a church service Jill overhears Gertrude’s explanation for Jill’s stillborn child. She must have been a hellion before she married. Sarah, Jill’s second daughter asks her sister, what is a fraud. The term was applied to Jill. The speaker? Gertrude Wicksberg.

My novel relates many more incidents between Jill and Gertrude. After reading the novel you decide Gertrude’s true character––the Lord's sheep or the devil's wolf?

Know anyone who is seen in a totally different light from others? Why is that?

The development of Baggage burdens. produces another unexpected person––Rebecca, a very complex character. She’s part of the close knit church community, a good friend to Joseph. At times Jill finds her supportive and other times their relationship is strained. Join me as I look at Rebecca in my next blog.  

Confess Your Sins

                        Confess Your Sins

"When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away . . .”  Psalm 32:3 Jill’s treatment of her son, Daniel, is the basis of friction between them. Jill’s failure to admit that she caused their strained relationship results in a haunting guilt.

Eve is not directly the cause of increased tension between Daniel and his mother. She is the product of her upbringing. Like people in her community she looks forward to having a large family with Daniel as head of the house. Unlike her mother, Eve wants a loving, respectful relationship with Jill. Because of Daniel’s antagonism toward his mother, Eve keeps silent until Jill’s automobile accident.

Once Daniel is married to Eve, Jill tries to ignore her son’s frustration. Because Daniel’s mother-in-law, Gertrude, is very critical of Jill, Jill feels justified in limiting her contact with the newly married couple. Jill’s alienation from her son remains hidden until she suspects he has come to visit her in the hospital. Even then she can’t bring herself to initiate reconciliation.

Eve’s disapproval of Daniel’s attitude toward his own mother nudges Daniel to change. Jill needs more than the encouragement that receives from Julie, her second cousin, or Bill’s counseling. The source of strength she needs is one she is reluctant to turn to.

Confessing you’re wrong is hard. It takes courage. The trouble with being wrong once is it opens the door to admitting you could be wrong more than once. Could Jill also be wrong about her grandmother bringing Dave to see her, about marrying Joseph, about blaming him for not caring for the children, about her mother not caring for her? There could be      so much to forgive. That’s humbling. One of the most troubling potential admissions that Jill faces is I am wrong about my father.

To protect herself, Jill concluded that she should count on no one.  Think of yourself first. Make sure your safe. Be in control. Be confident. Admitting your wrong and asking for forgiveness, goes against survival lesson Jill has learned.

Jill needed help to make this difficult transition. Do you know anyone who has a similar challenge?

Gertrude Wicksberg, Eve’s mother and a faithful member of the Orthodox Community Church, may be characterized as a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Gertrude is the subject of the next blog on Baggage burdens.