Preserve Those Good Times

Preserve Those Good Times

Stop. Relax. Enjoy some of the bright spots in your past. What events percolate to the surface? Who stands out like a lighthouse resurrecting joy, painting a smile on your face?

A familiar smell, sight or sound may stumble into your rat-race day. The camera-flash moment excites and then disappears, the pleasure cheated like a sip of expensive wine immediately followed by a fork full of food. Schedule-filled days, salted here and there with best of times minutes, loses its shine to more-done–today values. Rushing from event to event gives one time to note, a bright sunny day, but no time to soak in the sun’s comforting warmth. To many, there’s no time. Soaking in the treasured times is reserved for celebrations and holidays.

Thank God for photos, concrete snapshots of on-cloud-nine times. Cameras mostly catch joyful circumstances, laughing family members, fooling-around friends, exciting achievements. Instances of warm relationships and bubbling-over emotions warrant savoring. They are rewards for labors to serve or please another or achieve a goal, especially a challenging goal.  If one can’t delight in past highlights why bother making any effort?

Photos, whether stuffed in a box in a drawer or mounted and captioned in an album, do more than create warm feelings. Viewing past highlights reenergizes, especially if one is feeling discouraged, drained. Good times exist. Life is not all bad.

In my novel, Baggage burdens. the recharging value of albums is illustrated in the lives of Julie, Jill’s cousin, Josey, Jill’s grandmother, and frequently in Jill’s life. The memories stored in the album and their preparation strengthens the women. I wonder if looking back on power point presentations and Facebook or Instagram posts achieve the same results.

two album snapshots

Jill looks at her grandmother’s bulky photo album, a catalogue of flowers conveying a gardening history of her grandparents and their efforts to create a park like setting.

What a marriage they had! They planted, pruned, and weeded together. They traveled to several places in the States purchasing special roses.

As Jill flips through the album, Josey’s voice rings in her ears. Each picture blossoms into a new planting adventure. Josey loves talking about the photos and George as much as she loved working in the garden.

Jill flips back to the first page of the album. The pictorial recording begins with her grandparents’ arrival at the property.

Josey said, “We came to view this two-story house because it had three bedrooms. We wanted enough room for our children and grandchildren when they’d come to visit. Seeing a hedge of yellow roses, Golden Wings, bordering the long driveway to the house hooked us!” Josey exclaimed. “We had to explore the rest of the yard. Before we entered the house, George knew he wanted to buy the place.”

Jill opens one album. Daniel’s preschool years flood back as she flips through the pages. She sees shock stamped on her face. Daniel sprayed her with water. Another time, Joseph’s camera eye caught Jill wiping Daniel’s chocolate-smeared face.

Jill smiles. Her eyes dart to a paint-stained white T-shirt, Joseph’s special shirt.

Daniel needed a protective shirt for finger painting class at church. Jill hadn’t thought of asking Joseph if she could take his shirt. Later she learned the shirt was a gift from one of the vendors at the market. Joseph said nothing, but she had seen his disappointment.

Another picture shows Daniel’s head poking out of the side of some tall raspberry bushes. He had asked if he could help. Later Joseph caught Daniel’s red-stained mouth, proof Daniel was sampling instead of picking. Joseph’s caption, In the basket, not your mouth, always drew a quick defense from Daniel and laughter from Joseph.

Jill opens the second album, a new chapter in Daniel’s life. Her smile disappears after turning a few pages. In this album, she’s the photographer. She’s documenting an ever-growing closer relationship between Joseph and Daniel. Pictures feature Daniel sitting on Joseph’s knees steering the lawn tractor. The photo of Daniel sitting on top of a pile of pruned lilac branches to weigh them down as Joseph drove the tractor supports the caption, Dad’s helper. The following picture shows father and son working together in the garden. Joseph scribed the caption, My helper. Jill recalls Daniel beaming when he read it. The absence of pictures with her and Daniel causes Jill to fear that she is losing touch with her son.

       haiku capsule:

pages of mounted photos

unforgettable captions

albums––banks of joy

Next blog:

Some Place Special

Creating a Sense of Belonging

Creating a Sense of Belonging

How does one go about making a new person feel like they are part of the group? For people who share a common interest, belonging should not be an issue. However, that may not be enough. People aren’t completely alike. Individuals with accents, different skin color; customs, beliefs or out-of-the-box thinking may find themselves on the outside looking in. Without a clear sense of acceptance, an outsider’s uniqueness won’t blossom and enrich the group.

In my novel, Baggage burdens. the desire to create a sense of belonging is not directly explored. However, the lifestyle of two different churches illustrates which atmosphere is more welcoming. Also the role of the individual to fit in is seen through Joseph and through his wife, Jill.

Joseph finds out that it takes a lot of time and an understanding of the people in the church to fit in. While Jill is on the same path, she discovers another church where the actions of the people make it a whole lot easier for her and Joseph to join. Atmosphere is important––you are very interesting. I really want to know a whole lot more about you. However, the people’s actions make the welcoming difference.

A snapshot of two different churches

After a brief period of small talk, Mary asks, “So, what’s wrong? What couldn’t you share last time I was here?” Mary speaks as if she has inside information into Jill’s private life.

“I really enjoyed your last visit,” begins Jill, trying to dodge the question. Then she falls silent.

“Well? Ed and I are concerned.” Mary leans forward, expecting a secret to be divulged.

“Your last visit was so different from the ones I’ve had recently.” Reading Mary’s confusion, she adds, “I’m talking about the women from Joseph’s church.”

“Different! How?” Jill looks down, uncomfortable with her line of questioning.

“Tell me, please.”

“I’m not sure I can explain it. I first became aware of the difference when Ann asked if I missed the bakery.”

Mary nods.

That’s when both she and Ed noticed a difference in Jill’s body language. Ed said Jill shifted around as if she sat on a hot seat.

Again Jill is silent.

“Why was Ann’s question significant?”

“Well, Ann’s your sister. She is part of your family. I can understand her caring how you feel, but not me. It’s not like I am family. I never thought Ann and I were that close. Ann’s question made me feel like she really cared if I am happy, like I’m part of her family.” Jill wipes a tear creeping out of the corner of her eye.

“She does like you. I told you that before.”

“Yes. But none of the women from Joseph’s church ask me how I am doing. They talk about my furniture and how lucky I am to have Joseph for a husband. Then their conversations turn to their families and others in the church. At times I feel like a waitress in my own house. I don’t fit in.” Jill retreats to the counter for a tissue and blows her nose.

As they drive up to the Camrose church, Jill finds herself straining to hear the church bells ringing. To Jill’s surprise, the pastor greets her and the family by name. He says he’s glad to see her and that the church has been praying for her. In answering his inquiry about her health, she admits she is struggling but is progressing.

After the pastor moves on to other families entering the church, Jill thinks, He knows so much about me. I’m not even a member of the church.

Joseph and Jill sit with Ann, Pete, Scott, and Julie. Ann slides close to Jill and hugs her. Pete extends a welcoming hand to Joseph. To avoid any conversation about how she’s doing, Jill starts reading about the worship service. Two separate taps on her shoulder come from behind. Ellen and her friend, Ada, welcome Jill.

“We met her at Ann’s place a few times,” she whispers to Joseph.

After the service, before Jill can head for the vehicle, Gloria Brewster, the Sunday school superintendent, calls out. She too greets Jill with a hug and questions about how she is doing. Ruth, the pastor’s wife, welcomes Jill. Before Jill knows it, several ladies in the foyer surround her. All express their sympathy and support.

Seeing Jill happily preoccupied, Joseph distracts his children by pointing to the juice and cookies. He takes Matthew in his arms and joins Scott and Julie.

haiku capsule:

Warm “missed you,” greetings,

hugs followed by welcome back.

loving atmosphere

                   

Next blog:

Preserve the Good Times

A Close Friend

Heaven’s Gift àA Close Friend

Good friend. Close friend. For most, there is no difference. If your friend is someone who has a self-image problem, then that distinction acts as a screen. It’s like you are looking into the house of your friend instead of being invited in with him or her.

You wonder, “Did I say something or do something to offend.” If you ask you get no answer. So there you stand, a friend, but not really. If you are persistent enough or lucky enough, you may learn that the problem is really with your own friend. That is the case with Rebecca and Jill in my novel, Baggage burdens. Joseph, Jill’s husband, dared to persist in finding out why Jill was dodging Rebecca who had frequently come to Jill’s rescue.

Jill’s calm response encourages Joseph to pursue the matter. “It’s surprising. When you returned from the hospital, Rebecca visited you every time I went to the market. Then all of sudden she’s not welcome at Daniel’s birthday, at our Thanksgiving dinner, at our wedding anniversary, and at your birthday celebration.”

Jill interrupts. “I just don’t want to be around Rebecca anymore. Is there anything wrong with that?” Annoyance creeps into Jill’s response.

“If she’s done something wrong, I know she’d like to make it up to you.”

“Look, she didn’t do anything wrong.”

Her stern response cautions Joseph, but he feels he can’t quit. Bringing up this topic was hard enough. “Then what?”

Jill’s face turns red. “Do you really want to know what the problem is?”

Jill’s voice forces him to glance around the half-full restaurant. Turning to Jill, he firmly answers yes.

 Jill leans forward and whispers. “When I am with her, I feel like a moron. Are you satisfied?”

The revelation catches Joseph off guard. He debates pushing any further. Taking her whispered response and her leaning forward as a sign that she doesn’t want to make a scene, he continues. “No. I don’t understand why a person who’s been so supportive …”

“That’s exactly why,” interrupts Jill. “She so good at everything. She’s such a good friend, such a good hostess, such a good cook, and such a good mother. I can’t compete. I can’t even come close.”

Surprise! Mary, Jill’s employer became a very close friend to Jill. Even when Mary had to move away so that they were more than an hour’s drive away Jill and Mary remained in touch. Why? Mary was human. She was a person who also made huge mistakes in her life. Mary had secretly told Jill that before she married she was pregnant and had an abortion. 

haiku capsule:

Pregnant! Abortion!

She is human like I am.

Friendship foundation

                   

Next blog:

Creating a Sense of Belonging

Winter––Fun Times!

Winter–– Fun Times !

List activities done in snow or on the ice. By themselves they don’t imply fun unless you have experienced them. Seeing high energy and hearing laughter associated with building a snowman, going for a sleigh ride or hay ride, snowballing, skating or playing hockey brings fun to life.

In my novel, Baggage burdens. many times memories of winter fun are relived. In reviewing those enjoyable times I’m reminded of the yeast that made them so special. Before you finish reading the selected passages see if you too can identify that special ingredient that makes winter activities memorable.

Past Christmases surface: Joseph’s invitation to go out for a sleigh ride with Daniel and to cut down a Christmas tree, hot apple cider, reading the Christmas story from one of the Gospels. “Hey, Dad. Can we get our Christmas tree this afternoon?”

Her response, “I’m not tramping around in deep snow. It’s too cold."

Jill evaluates her response. Daniel loved it. It’s like he and his father shared a special mission. It really seemed to bring them together. Maybe I should have gone.

As Joseph finishes cleaning his paintbrushes, Daniel’s excited voice rings out. “Dad, can we have these? He holds a box of empty soup and vegetable cans, which Joseph labels for storing nails and screws.

“What for?”

“Target practice.”

“Target practice?”

“Yes. I’ll set them up on the planter wall and see if I can hit them with the snowball.”

“Bring ’em back when you’re finished.”

Daniel grabs the overflowing cardboard box. Two spill out, but Amber picks them up and dutifully follows her brother outside.

When Joseph comes out to admire their snowman, he hears Amber and Daniel cheering. She replaces the two cans on the flowerbed wall. Then Daniel hurls five snowballs. Three cans fall. They cheer.

“Let’s see your snowman.” Joseph’s announcement sends them running.

The sleeves of Joseph’s old summer jacket hang from the snowman’s poplar branch arms. A large stone from the driveway represents his nose. Joseph guesses the twigs pressed into the snowman’s head in straight lines represent the winter creature’s hair. Its head tilts, looking like it will roll off any second. Joseph straightens it. Amber picks two stones that fell, the snowman’s eyes. Joseph lifts her so she can replace them. Amber reaches up for Joseph’s cap and places it on top of the snowman’s hair. Her pleased smile lights Joseph’s face too.

Jill had hoped that Joseph’s proposal for a skating rink for the family would bring them closer together. He always cleared the snow from the nearby pond and pumped water from beneath to flood the surface. The whole family bought skates. Benches were set out off to one side so they could rest and roast wieners. Many times Daniel helped his father shovel the snow off the rink. 

At first the family skated together. Then neighborhood boys heard about the rink. Many came to play hockey, even if they didn’t have skates. The following year, most of the boys brought skates. More and more, family skating gave way to hockey. The neighbors’ boys all came to their place even though other parents made rinks in their own yards.

Probably Joseph’s pizzas, guesses Jill. He made and served them after the kids finished their game. Playing hockey at their place became a tradition. For Daniel, Joseph was his hero. Daniel’s popularity in the school grew. Jill remembers teasing Joseph, saying he turned to making pizzas because he couldn’t keep up with the kids on the rink.

 “What about the rest of the story?” interrupts Eve. Before Daniel can start, she says, “Two years ago, a bunch of us from church got together for a New Year’s Eve party. Late in the afternoon, Martin Shopka hitched up a couple of horses and took us for a hayride. Someone pushed me off the wagon. Half-buried in fresh cold, powdery snow, I watched the wagon pull away.”

“Everybody was laughing so hard that Mr. Shopka didn’t hear her call,” says Daniel.

“So Daniel jumped off to help me,” cuts in Eve. “Another burst of laughter erupted from the wagon.”

“I think they thought I too was pushed off,” adds Daniel.

“Anyway, Daniel rescued me.”

“That’s when she kissed me,” explains Daniel. “We walked back to the church,” continues Daniel. “It really wasn’t that cold.”

“For the rest of the night, Daniel was the target of my affection. I thought I’d make some of the other guys jealous,” says Eve. “How was I to know that Daniel would take me seriously? After that, he never quit calling me. Eventually he convinced me he was worth hanging on to.” She looks at him and plants a kiss on his lips.

The essential element for enjoying winter activities is having human companionship. That even applies to the task of shoveling snow. It seems as one ages, the pleasures found in winter activities changes from fun to managing Old Man Winter’s challenges.

After the excitement dies down, Joseph announces, “Time for skating.”

The day before, Daniel and Joseph pumped water over a frozen pond. A heavy snow fell over night. Right after breakfast, Joseph and Daniel cleared the pond and set up some benches on the side.

Spurred by Joseph’s announcement, everyone crowds around the closet, dons heavy coats and boots, and disappears outside. Joseph, Scott, Thomas, and Pete grab the shovels and clear a path to the pond. As guests arrived to Amber’s party, so did an uninvited guest, a fresh covering of snow.

* * *

“It’s not cold, but boy, the snow's really coming down now,” says Pete. “Five inches has fallen since company arrived.”

“Joseph grabbed a shovel and plowed a narrow path. Then Pete and I followed. We angled our shovels and moved the snow to the side.”

“Like the graders clearing the main road,” adds Pete proudly. “The sidewalks by this apartment and the one next to us are done. With the three of us doing it, it took no time.”

haiku capsule:

building a snowman

skating, sleigh rides and hockey

melting winter’s grip

                   

      Next blog:   

Heaven’s Gift àClose Friends