Sunday 28 June 2015

My Boy

My  Boy ! ! !

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you . . .”  Jeremiah 1:5 Before I created Daniel Kreshky  for Baggage burdens., I had ideas of how Daniel would become very close to his father.


Daniel’s role as gopher in helping his father in the wood working shop earns Daniel the title of number one assistant, a recognition that Joseph shares with other fathers in after church service conversations. The men praise eight-year-old Daniel.
To be more like his father Daniel works with wood. He carves and paints model trucks. Following in his father’s footsteps, he asks if he can go to the farmer’s market and sell his models. To his surprise, he sold them.
Daniel’s willingness to help his father with gardening illustrates his high regard for Joseph. From other boys at school Daniel learns that mothers plant, weed and harvest the garden. Even though Daniel loves working with wood he willing helps his father in the field.
How did the father-son bonding become so strong? Jill’s preschool photo album holds the answer. It captures Daniel and Joseph going out to cut down a Christmas tree. Another picture shows Daniel weighing down a pile of pruned lilac branches in a trailer. Joseph wrote, Dad’s Helper. A photo of Daniel helping in the garden is captioned My New Thomas. That’s high praise. Joseph often seeks Thomas’ advice. Jill, even in jest, never achieves that recognition.
Joseph was constantly there for his son. He bought him a horse. Instead of working in the field Joseph often went horseback riding with Daniel and took him to soccer practice and

soccer games. They never missed the church’s annual father-son summer outing. Daniel saw his father as an ally. Joseph prevented Jill from dragging Daniel away from his friends. He prevented Jill from pulling him Daniel into homeschooling.
When Joseph divorced Jill, he trusted Daniel more than anyone else. No one else, not even Thomas, received Joseph's cell phone number when he moved away.

Spending a lot of time together cements relationships. That’s a lesson Jill employed with her other children. What examples can you provide to support the perception that time spent together strengthens bonds?



The marriage between Joseph and Jill is strained. How will that example influence Daniel in his marriage to independent-minded Eve? The next blog on Baggage burdens. explores their marriage.

Sunday 21 June 2015

It's a Boy!

It’s a Boy! ! !

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you . . .”  Jeremiah 1:5 Before I created Daniel Kreshky  for Baggage burdens., I already knew he would frustrate Jill.



It's a boy! It's a boy!
Jill wants to be a very good mother. No, a better mother than her mother was to her. Because Jill was naturally drawn to her mother, she expects to be the most loved parent in her family. Daniel is designed to frustrate that goal, not deliberately but as a consequence of Jill’s ambition to be closer to her son than Joseph is.
In the years before Daniel starts school Jill loves and cares for her son. She’s the center of his attention. A couple of years before Daniel starts school the bond between father and son grows stronger. The seed of jealousy finds fertile soil in Jill’s heart.
Dissension between mother and son finds no expression until Daniel has attended school for six years. Then Jill starts homeschooling Amber, Daniel’s sister. The mother and daughter relationship is very close. Thinking that teaching her son at home will build a stronger bond between them, Jill tries to pull Daniel out of the parochial church school. Her determined effort fails but succeeds in driving a wedge between the two of them.
As Daniel grows older, that wedge widens. Amber’s praises her mother’s teaching. It aggravates Daniel. To guarantee that he can stay at the school where all his friends are, Daniel studies hard and achieves honors. While Daniel participates in the school’s social activities, he is inadvertently exposed to the community’s criticism of Jill for rebuffing their private educational system. Their talk stains his view of his mother.
Pressure to conform to his mother’s wishes increases when Sarah, Daniel’s second sister and Matthew, Daniel’s brother, also take their schooling at home. A rebellious weed grows in Daniel. Expression of his antagonistic spirit is limited by Joseph’s guidance and support.  


Daniel marries his high school sweetheart. She happens to be the daughter of a woman who is very critical of Jill. Jill wonders if she forced Daniel out of her house like her father forced her out of his house. Joseph’s moderating effect on Daniel ceases when Joseph leaves Jill. Daniel blames his mother for the failure of the marriage. His hostility blooms. He wants nothing to do with her.

Once a child leaves home, is it possible for a parent to win their heart?






How can one create a strong bond between father and son? Is it natural or deliberate? The next blog explores the development of the bond between Joseph and Daniel in Baggage burdens.

Sunday 14 June 2015

Better Than Mom

Better Than Mom
 
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you . . .”  Jeremiah 1:5 Before I created Mary Preszchuk  for Baggage burdens., I already knew her as a dynamic person that Jill could never leave her.

Mary has to be everything that Jill needs. An employer and landlord is minimum. Jill also needs a caring friend who knows, understands, and loves people. Unexpectedly Mary becomes more like a mother to Jill.
Mary’s self-confident out going spirit appears when she welcomes Jill in front of her bakery. Mary ignores Jill’s anticipated handshake. She hugs Jill.

 A home atmosphere partly explains Mary’s bakery’s success. Mary builds personal relationships with her customers by learning about their history.  When Mary adopts the same strategy with Jill, she quickly learns Jill is a very private person. Mary respects that. Acting as a social encyclopedia, Mary provides Jill with background on her patrons. Jill sees smiles on the bakery's patrons when Mary recognizes them as individuals. Jill learns Mary’s skills of eavesdropping on tables’ conversations and asking delicate questions.



Jill has major issues with trust. Mary doesn’t. Like a mother Mary models trusting people. She shares with Jill a past personal indiscretion, one that explains why Mary has no children, one that only she and her husband know. From Mary Jill learns about love and its importance in a trusting relationship.

Jill experiences unconditional love when Mary learns that Jill intends to marry Joseph.  Mary’s joy is genuine, even though it means Jill won’t take over her bakery some day. The hope that Jill would marry her nephew, Ben also disappears. Mary supports Jill’s decision and acts as her Matron of Honor.

 Jill, moving out to the farm, drastically reduces the time that she and Mary spend together.  Still their friendship remains strong. Jill frequently turns to Mary for advice. Joseph recognizes Mary’s affect on his wife. He too calls on Mary when Jill loses her baby even though she has moved to Edmonton.

Has anyone had an effect on you like Mary does on Jill? How did such a relationship develop?


Daniel, Jill and Joseph’s first child, plays many important roles in Baggage burdens. The next blog explores one of those roles.

Sunday 7 June 2015

Burdened Friend

Friend In Deed

"How can a troubled person like Bill Wynchuk in Baggage burdens. be a source of strength for Jill?   Answer–– “. . .my power is made perfect in weakness.”  2 Corinthians 12:9. At the time Jill turns to Bill for help, he was weak. He was still reeling from the death of his wife.

The two strengths Bill had going for him, his counseling skills and a close relationship with Jill’s family, failed to help him save Jill’s marriage. Later Bill became more aware of the friction between Jill and Daniel, her oldest son. To help her he had to call on anther resource, a suspect resource in Jill’s eyes.

After Jill’s automobile accident and during her subsequent hospitalization, Bill did what he normally would do––attempt to strengthen ties with Jill and her family to be of help. Multiple successes in assisting her children and cousin Julie built a strong relational framework with them. But Bill’s hospital visits, while appreciated by Jill, resulted in Jill reluctantly accepting Bill as a friend.


Through patience and perseverance Bill builds a fragile trust with Jill, a trust that opens the door for her to share a festering thorn that shields her from allowing a closer bond with Bill. Clarification of the misunderstanding leads Bill to explore the nature of the tension between Jill and Daniel.
Because Bill’s advice for mending Jill’s relationship with her son is seen as insufficient, Bill calls upon his greatest strength, his faith in God, an approach that Jill undervalues. Jill’s fear of visiting her ailing grandmother in Ontario opens the door again for Bill to witness about his confidence in turning to his personal god. Jill’s crisis in faith is exposed. Bill finds himself explaining his faith in ways he had not expected.


For a variety of reasons sharing stories about how God has been active in your life is tough. As Bill and Jill show a trusting relationship is vital. How have your experiences shown that trust is needed before you can share your faith beliefs?


One of my favorite characters in Baggage burdens. is Mary, a person who loves life in so many ways. Meet Mary in my next blog.