A Close Friend

Heaven’s Gift àA Close Friend

Good friend. Close friend. For most, there is no difference. If your friend is someone who has a self-image problem, then that distinction acts as a screen. It’s like you are looking into the house of your friend instead of being invited in with him or her.

You wonder, “Did I say something or do something to offend.” If you ask you get no answer. So there you stand, a friend, but not really. If you are persistent enough or lucky enough, you may learn that the problem is really with your own friend. That is the case with Rebecca and Jill in my novel, Baggage burdens. Joseph, Jill’s husband, dared to persist in finding out why Jill was dodging Rebecca who had frequently come to Jill’s rescue.

Jill’s calm response encourages Joseph to pursue the matter. “It’s surprising. When you returned from the hospital, Rebecca visited you every time I went to the market. Then all of sudden she’s not welcome at Daniel’s birthday, at our Thanksgiving dinner, at our wedding anniversary, and at your birthday celebration.”

Jill interrupts. “I just don’t want to be around Rebecca anymore. Is there anything wrong with that?” Annoyance creeps into Jill’s response.

“If she’s done something wrong, I know she’d like to make it up to you.”

“Look, she didn’t do anything wrong.”

Her stern response cautions Joseph, but he feels he can’t quit. Bringing up this topic was hard enough. “Then what?”

Jill’s face turns red. “Do you really want to know what the problem is?”

Jill’s voice forces him to glance around the half-full restaurant. Turning to Jill, he firmly answers yes.

 Jill leans forward and whispers. “When I am with her, I feel like a moron. Are you satisfied?”

The revelation catches Joseph off guard. He debates pushing any further. Taking her whispered response and her leaning forward as a sign that she doesn’t want to make a scene, he continues. “No. I don’t understand why a person who’s been so supportive …”

“That’s exactly why,” interrupts Jill. “She so good at everything. She’s such a good friend, such a good hostess, such a good cook, and such a good mother. I can’t compete. I can’t even come close.”

Surprise! Mary, Jill’s employer became a very close friend to Jill. Even when Mary had to move away so that they were more than an hour’s drive away Jill and Mary remained in touch. Why? Mary was human. She was a person who also made huge mistakes in her life. Mary had secretly told Jill that before she married she was pregnant and had an abortion. 

haiku capsule:

Pregnant! Abortion!

She is human like I am.

Friendship foundation

                   

Next blog:

Creating a Sense of Belonging