"A Good Man."

  “A Good Man”

Can you comfortably say of some one, he is a good man? Perhaps you don’t know of any man that would qualify to be called good. What traits or behaviors do you think are important for a man to be considered good? Remember, you’re not being asked to say he’s a “perfect man.” And yes I do think there is such a thing as a perfect man, but that’s a different blog. Perhaps the descriptor good is like beauty. Good is in the eye of the beholder.

Joseph, in my novel, Baggage burdens. is frequently called a good man. After the last blog where Joseph is shown to treasure Jill as the best thing he ever had, you might wonder how he could be seen as good. Yet several characters including Jill speak of Joseph as a good man.

As a result of their prolonged conversation, Mary hangs up the “closed” sign. Joseph catches the hint. With a wave to Mary, he turns to Jill and says, “Maybe next weekend you and I will go to Mirror Lake for a while.” 

“I’ll think about it,” mouths Jill, as she leads him to the door. The bells above the door sing out and the shop closes for the day. Jill is surprised to see the place empty. Mary sets the teacups out for their usual day’s wrap up. Two large peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies centerpiece a small paper plate.

“So, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think Ben has a little competition. Yes, definitely a little competition.” Mary points to Joseph as he drives away.

“He’s just a nice guy. That’s all,” disclaims Jill with a wave of her hand. She nibbles at her cookie.

“Oh, come on.  A strong well built man like that. From the size of his hands you can tell he’s a hard worker. He cares about himself. His long blond hair is always clean and combed. That’s a good sign. And you know, he owns a pretty good chunk land south-east of Camrose.”

“Okay, so he’s attractive, and he has land, but there’s nothing between us.”

“In your mind only,” counters Mary.

“Well tell me, how do those two fellows stack up, you know, Joseph and Ben?”

‘Is she’s trying to figure out if Ben’s in danger of losing me? Whose dilemma is this? Ben’s? Mary’s?’ Jill puzzles how to share her evaluation of the two boys without presenting any kind of commitment to either Ben or Joseph.

“Joseph’s ambitions drive him to long hours of work, whether it is with Thomas to earn money for his projects or simply to develop his acreage. That suggests he has little time for me. It also means I’d be free to do what I want. He’s shy and fairly sensitive. The location of his farm brings a feeling of isolation, of privacy, something he values.”

“Like you.”

Jill smiles. “Yes. But it would be nice if he lived closer to you or Ann.”

 Mary nods.

Mary’s words when they drove from Edmonton after shopping for her wedding dress rescue Jill. “Joseph is a very good man.”

 ‘Mary’s right,’ she tells herself. ‘Joseph is a good man. He doesn’t drink any alcohol. He’s not like my father.’

Jill’s misdeed pounced upon her like it was released from a trap––you deserted Josey. She was only trying to help you. Before Jill could dismiss the accompanying guilt, Gertrude’s comments arrest Jill’s remaining anger. Poor Joseph. He tries so hard to please Jill. He’s such a good man. Her description of Joseph as a good man was the same as Mary’s. Jill’s anticipated challenge evaporates. Gertrude’s lament echoes again and again. Joseph is such a good man.

For the first time ever Eve sees tears in Daniel’s eyes. “It’s not fair. It not fair. Dad’s such a good man.” Looking at Eve he adds. “You know he said he’d drive me to school everyday so I wouldn’t have to take home schooling from my mother?”

“I know. You told me.”

“And now he’s broke. He’s broke because of that stupid house my mother wants. He has to borrow money.”

“It’s only a temporary thing. And it’s good that he has people like Thomas who are willing to help. That’s just like what your father does for people he builds things for. He doesn’t insist on being paid right away. Maybe it’s good that sometimes your father is on the receiving end. It shows you that people love him too.”

  

From Joseph’s many traits and behaviors one might think that he is indeed a good man. However, Ben had a number of attractive traits too. Who had the most desirable qualities? Number isn’t a critical factor in deciding who was a good man. To Jill or anyone, one particular trait may have a very high value, so high that over rides all the other qualities. For Jill Joseph’s outstanding trait was he didn’t drink, even socially. This quality received such a high value because of Jill’s many painful experiences from her alcoholic father. She feared making the same mistake that her mother made ––marrying a social drinker who later became dependent on alcohol and hit family members. While Mary and others had different reasons for seeing Joseph as a good man, Jill’s was more important than all theirs combined.

 haiku capsule:

                   

good man perceptions     

rich, strong, hard working, pleases wife

merit from past pains

Next blog:  “You’re Wrong.”

 A Matter of Perspective

Playful, Loving Wife

Also A Plauful, Loving Wife

continued

Setting: Children are off to bed. Joseph and his wife are sitting in front of a fire in their living room. Joseph looks at his wife. He searches her eyes for a glint, a playful glint. None appears.

Maybe this isn’t his lucky night, but he has had some good playful times. And he does have a loving wife.

Remember the dinner we went out to in Hawaii? We pretended we were both singles out alone. The maître d' said that there was only one table left. I told him that if you didn’t mind maybe we could share the table.”

“I don’t think he suspected we were married,” adds Jill joining in recalling the event. “Even though we both were wearing wedding rings.”

“Or he thought we both were cheating on our spouses.”

Jill smiles. “I think I had a lot to drink that night.”

“Only two glasses of wine after the meal.”

“And one before,” adds Jill.

“Is that why you felt comfortable suggesting we watch the waves roll on to the beach from your balcony?”

“I was in full control of my faculties. I thought it was a pretty innocent first step to luring you to my room,” says Jill grinning.

“It didn’t take long for that innocence to disappear.”

“Cheating on your husband with your husband. It doesn’t get better than that,” says Jill stepping closer to Joseph. “We had so much fun that we did it again the next night. Remember? Only we went to a different restaurant.”

“It was like getting away with enjoying forbidden fruit. I think that was one of the best times in our marriage,” says Joseph reflectively.

Joseph sucks in a long deep breath before he says, still in a very low voice, “that radio warning––don’t drive unless you have to.” He falls silent again. His hand sweeps away another tear. “That’s the warning my grandmother told me was issued when my parents tried to drive home from Grand Prairie. They didn’t heed it. They died.” He takes another deep breath and adds, “I don’t want that for our children.”

Before Jill can respond, Joseph’s arm shoots out pointing to the motel sign. “I knew it,” declares Joseph. A few moments later he adds, “There’s a vacancy. Phone Julie. Tell her because of the roads we won’t be home tonight.”

Jill does as Joseph requests. She finishes talking to Julie before Joseph rolls up to the parking stall before the motel office. While talking to Julie, Mary’s words haunt Jill. Can’t say I don’t know how to please a man. Hang on to him. He’s a good man. Wanting to be like Mary, Jill wonders what she can do distract Joseph from the sadness brought on by the snowstorm.

“Sure hope they have a place for us,” he says. “I didn’t see any empty parking stalls.” He shifts into park.” You coming?” he asks as he turns off the engine.

‘I’ve got it,’ thinks Jill. She remembers a play she previewed for the drama club. A smile crosses her face as she recalls the opening scene.

“You coming?” repeats Joseph. He opens the car door.

“You want a married woman to spend a night in a motel with you, right?”

The strange question stops Joseph as he half steps out of the car. Turning around he looks at her, trying to figure out what she is up to.

“Do you think it’s wise that the clerk knows who the woman is that will be sharing your––”

“Whaaat?” says Joseph as he drags himself back into the car.

“Grabs your attention, doesn’t it?” says Jill grinning. “I just paraphrased an opening scene from a play our drama group half considered.”

“Jill, what does this have to do with anything?” A touch of annoyance colors Joseph’s response.

“Joseph, I want you to trade scenes, the depressing scene of your parent’s death for an alluring fantasy scene, a scene where a guy picks up an attractive lady from a party and brings her to a motel for the night.”

Joseph digests her idea. He can’t believe he sees a playful smile. ‘That’s not really my Jill.’ Looking closer he sees Jill tilt head, her left eye peaks up out from beneath her hair. Her index finger slowly slides her hair to the side. The uncharacteristic invitation raises a hidden hope. He dares to check it out. “A fling?” he ventures.

“With a mystery woman, a once-in-a-life-time opportunity,” clarifies Jill, grinning. She sees Joseph buying into her option. “A secret only you and I will know about.”

Joseph toys with the implication for a few seconds. “Stay here. I’ll go register us.”

MAN   TOY

Indeed, Joseph is a lucky man to possess such a wonderful wife. He’s like a man who bought a brand new top-of-the-line car. Any sign of rain and it’s in the garage. Frequent washings keep it looking new. Hand waxing and hand polishing guarantees it looks unblemished. Only number one gas for this beauty. Protect it. Park far away from other cars in the parking lot. Take it in for an oil change well before the required time. Anyone seeing his prize possession would think it was a show room vehicle.

Joseph’s commitment was like the man who bought a brand new car. Do anything to keep Jill as happy as he first saw her. After marrying her, he knew she was the best thing he ever had. How can one go wrong with that kind of commitment for his wife?

Unfortunately a misperception created friction. Many times Jill felt that, instead of being his valued helpmate, she was his treasured object, a very important thing. In times of need, particularly when Jill wasn’t her normal happy energetic self, he’d often turn to his long time, good neighbor, vendor and farmer friend, Thomas and his wife, Rebecca. He trusted these older people like they were his loving parents. They were after all, married a lot longer and had raised six children. Why not look to them?

Problem: Jill felt devalued. Her wisdom and advice weren’t important.

“I know you were pretty broken up when you returned from the hospital. But I felt that after our little talk before Christmas things were improving. At Amber’s birthday party I hoped I’d see a little of the Jill I married, but you seemed to just be going through the motions, like it was some kind of job you had to do. Be patient, Rebecca told me. So I tried.”

‘Rebecca again? Always Rebecca. I thought he said he’d quit running to her for every little thing. Who all have you been talking to? Who else thinks I’m totally messed up?’

 haiku capsule:

                   

loving playful times     

fantasies––forbidden fruit

only part of marriage

Next blog:  “A Good Man”

Most Wonderful Wife

“Most Wonderful Wife”

“Most Wonderful Wife.” What a concept! So many ways one could go with such a declaration! Before I wander out onto thin ice, let me set some parameters. The expression comes from one who is in the presence of a beautiful woman, one whose happiness and confidence radiates energy and joy. To a young farmer it’s like waking up to a bright sunny day after a long, gentle, soaking rain. From the perspective of this undeserving young man who has no prospects of finding a wife in the conservative natured religious community that he lives near, nothing could be better.

The initial setting of this love-at-first-sight experience is in a bakery/restaurant. Joseph is doing some remodeling work there when he sees Waitress Jill. After some time he works up the courage to ask her out. She agrees. He feels like it’s the luckiest day of his life. He has competition. His name is Ben. Then, surprise! Jill says yes, she would marry Joseph. No lottery winner could feel happier. For almost their entire marriage the land-rich-cash-poor husband commits to keeping her as happy as he found her working in the bakery.

What so attracted Joseph that he was able to overlook other’s negative comments about his wife? (Excerpts from my novel, Baggage Burdens.)

“So, I asked Joseph what attracted him to you?”

“You didn’t!”

“I did.” Mary grins. “I did.” Mary takes a long sip of tea forcing Jill to reveal her burning curiosity.

“And?” Jill leans forward to catch every word from Mary.

“Dying for more flattery are we?” 

“Yes, yes, out with it.”

“Well, he said he loved the way you work.” Jill’s smile diminishes. “He also said you seem very happy. You take a lot of orders and without a moment’s hesitation you can tell anyone about the progress on their order. He said you’re amazing. You move effortlessly like you have energy to spare, like you’re inviting someone else to place another order. He also loves your cooking, particularly your borscht. It’s his favorite.” 

“It’s only what you taught me,” objects Jill.

 “And he finds you very attractive.” Jill’s smile lights up her face. “In particular, he loves it when, at the end of the day, your pony tail disappears. And . . .” Mary takes her time finishing her tea. “I asked him if that was all.”

Jill knows Mary is playing with her. “Come on, out with it?”

“He loves your breasts.”

 “He didn’t say that!”

“He did. He did. His very words.”

They both laugh.

While eating at the Norseman Restaurant, Joseph admires Jill’s hair.

For her birthday Jill styled her hair so it would fall on her forehead and the sides cover her face like stage curtains. Depending how she turned her head at times it appeared as if she were apprehensively peeking out. Jill remembered it as one of her mother’s favorite hairstyles.

“Something wrong?” asks Jill, after they’ve ordered their dessert.

 “Ah, no. I was just thinking about a time I saw you wear your hair this way. It was the first time we went to Mirror Lake. Remember?”

Jill nods.

“I think that is one of my favorite moments.”

“One?”

“Yes, but there were many other times too. I loved watching you take orders at the bakery. No matter how many customers you had, nothing could fluster you.”

“Those were good days,” recalls Jill.

“Yes. And you look as attractive today as you did then.”

The compliment brings a smile to Jill. For a moment Jill glows as if she were back in the bakery.

Jill’s delayed return finds Joseph sitting on a cushion on the rug, sipping the apple cider and staring into the fire. He has angled the love seat closer to the fire. Jill recognizes that she will have to abandon her plans, a quick kiss and straight to bed. Buttoning her housecoat, she grabs a cup of cider and sits with Joseph.

As she settles on the cushion beside Joseph, his arm draws her closer. After gazing into the fire, Joseph says, “That reminds me of you.” He points to the fire.

 “How so?” 

“Well,” he pauses. “It’s so warm, like you. The flames dance all about with endless energy. That was you when you were serving customers at the bakery. I loved watching you.”

“Like the flames?”

“Yes.”

Joseph’s son’s voice yanks him back to the present. “Want more wood?” Daniel points to the glowing embers.

Both Joseph and Jill answer together, Joseph in the affirmative and Jill in the negative. Daniel waits for clarification. Finally Joseph says, “Throw on a few small pieces.” As Daniel responds Joseph says, “It’s been so long since we sat by the fire.”

With his head still resting on her lap, Joseph sees Jill’s hair draping the sides and top of her face. It reminds him of a child wanting to come out and play but is afraid. He searches her eyes for a glint, a playful glint. None appears. He senses Jill knows he’s admiring her. A smile graces her face. ‘A good start,’ he thinks.

Daniel’s voice interrupts again. “You guys sure you don’t want to go to sleep?”

They dismiss his suggestion.

“You hear Amber say good night?”

They both nod.

Daniel grins. “Good night.”

Jill and Joseph respond.

Lucky man this Joseph who possess such a wonderful wife.

Be my valentine

 haiku capsule:

                   

amazing woman     

radiant, energetic

nourishing sun shine

Next blog:    Also A Plauful, Loving Wife

continued 

SELF-CONFIDENCE - a Game Changer

SELF-CONFIDENCE - a Game Changer

You glow. What a wonderful, sincere compliment to pay to an employee especially if it is to person who has only been on the job for two months. The words are of even of greater significance when it is delivered to a person who has several reasons to see herself as a failure. How could such a transformation (from self-conscious to self confident) take place?

This change agent is found in my novel, Baggage burdens. Mary, Jill’s employer, is both a model and her personal trainer. Her strategy begins with a warm welcome, warmer than even that of Jill’s grandmother. Modeling interest in Jill and respect for Jill, Mary creates an atmosphere of acceptance, critical for a self-confident atmosphere. Her on-the-spot coaching sets Jill up for success. Her training enables Jill to create a family-like atmosphere for the customers who frequent Mary’s bakery. The customer’s appreciation of Jill’s efforts strengthens her self-image, enabling Jill to become creative in her service. On a personal level Mary demonstrates a deep trust in Jill. Result is a committed, happy, energetic, glowing person.

A cheerful voice reaches out from the bakery entrance. Mary Prezchuck calls out again. 

“You Jill Rezlay?”

Mary’s heavy waving arm and smiling face draw a smile from Jill. The large round lady fills the doorway. Her short brown hair closely hugs the contours of her head.

“Yes, I am.” Jill starts to approach her advancing host.

Mary steps past Jill’s outstretched hand and hugs Jill.

 “Welcome to Camrose.”

Jill helps Mary box early morning orders. While the shop isn’t opened for sit-down customers until nine, the early morning patrons pick up goodies for their fellow employees’ coffee breaks. Mary tells Jill about each customer a few minutes before they arrive for their preordered morning treats. Then she entertains Jill with stories about the couriers, their business or some mishap in which they had been involved.

Mary’s mini biographies establish her as a social encyclopedia. Her information comes complete with cautions––what can be said in public and what Jill has to keep to herself. Over the next two weeks, patrons express surprise at how soon Jill begins calling them by name. 

“Well, Joseph said he loved the way you work.” Mary sees Jill’s smile diminish. “You take a lot of orders and without a moment’s hesitation you can tell anyone about the progress on their order. He said you’re amazing. You move effortlessly like you have energy to spare, like you’re inviting someone else to place another order.”

Eventually Ed asked the question that brought him up to talk to Jill. “You sure you want to move way out to the country? You know there’s hardly anyone out there to talk to.” In response to Jill’s quick assurance that she had Joseph to talk to, Ed added, “I only question your decision because when I watch you in the bakery you seem so happy. You glow. It’s such a beautiful sight. You must really love Joseph.”

        haiku capsule:

                   

building confidence     

modeling warm acceptance

create a vibrant glow

Next blog:   

 Most Wonderful Wife