Family Tree: Identity

Looking in the Mirror and Seeing Beyond the Surface Image

Isn’t this a beautiful pine tree? For more than three decades I’ve had the pleasure of watching it grow from a one-foot transplant to a towering monument that overlooks my house. Planted before my children were born, it still thrives after they moved on to their own place. In a way, it’s my family tree. It survived deep freeze winters, pounding hailstorms, mid summer drought spells and my limited horticultural skills to become a majestic attraction to my yard thanks to its extensive root system.

  If only I could cast a long shadow like this tree. That shouldn’t be impossible. When I look at the life stories of my parents and grandparents, I see I have the roots. Their rural roots discovered nutrients in the depths of the depression; molded values, shaped behaviors and expectations and produced a bountiful harvest. The fruits of their lived-values nourish me today.

One mineral tapped by those roots included the attitude of wasting nothing. A bent nail is straightened and used again. Bolts, washers, and rusty screws from machinery beyond repair furnish a home warehouse large enough to rival the town hardware store. A broken shovel handle –– repair it. It’s shorter but useable. Cash in discarded beer bottles and pop bottles. Leftovers from last night’s supper are tomorrow’s lunch.

Another valued mineral was work. Physical exertion hardened muscles and opened opportunities. Next day’s work burns a feast’s calories. “Make hay while the sun shines––a minimum expectation to live by.” Crops to be planted or harvested means start before sunrise and finish after sunset unless challenged by the weather. Time out for a party or a sports activity could cost a crop, a year’s investment. Recreation takes place when work is done. Questioning this priority means a blind eye to a bulging bank account and top-of-the-line purchases.

Another mineral sought by family roots was finding time for others based on the assumption that people are naturally good. Simply listening to others’ stories cultivated dozens of eyes watching vacationers’ homes and children playing in each other’s yards. Service angels came to mow lawns or shovel sidewalks for seniors and the disabled. Handymen tackled odd jobs: cooks whipped up meals for the sick. The stimulating fertilize––first one, then another and another complimentary service. On faith Dad knew strangers become neighbors.

A family tree is more than names, birth and death dates. It’s lessons and values learned from hearing or seeing family members' life-stories. Their successes shaped identity. 

Without insight into our family history, it is harder to appreciate who we are. In what way has your identity grown from you family’s lifestyle?

The latter question is one that Jill in Baggage burdens. would have a difficult time answering. Her limited knowledge of her family tree stories left her with only vague impression of who she was. How that affected her will be the subject of the next blog.