Male Bonding

Male Bonding

            Talk is cheap. Action counts. A basis for male bonding! What possible rationale could support such a position?

Spoken words hold no candle to the reality of working or playing together for some time. Skills or lack of them become apparent. An individual’s mistakes reveal a person’s character. Do they learn from blunders, blame others, or easily give up? In the light of a person’s true nature a strong foundation for a lasting friendship may be forged. When words may be misunderstood or be misleading, what better way is there to really come to know another?

The proposition of action counts influences the development of male friendships in novel, Baggage burdens. Mike, Joseph’s uncle, hires young Thomas to work for him on the farm when no one else would. Thomas’ many years of faithful service results in Mike leaving a part of his land to Thomas when he dies. Respecting Mike’s final wishes, Thomas mentors Joseph on farming Mike’s land. Together they not only farm but also sell their produce in the farmer’s market. The bond between the two men grows so strong that Joseph sees Thomas as a father figure. Joseph’s father died when he was very young.

Working draws Joseph and Bill together. Bill comes to know Joseph through his wife, Jill. He’d met her at a family conference. However, by Bill puttering around with Joseph in his yard and Joseph renovating Bill’s basement their connection grows. After Joseph’s marital breakup, the only person who Joseph shares his phone number with besides his son, Daniel, is Bill.

When Joseph sees that his wife is unhappy he is compelled to remedy the situation. His strategies include buying her a car, taking her on a holiday to Hawaii, a highway drive during a snowstorm so she can visit her friend.

Caught in the perception that friendship must be earned through service, Bill goes to great lengths to try to help Jill after her divorce. At first visiting the hospitalized unconscious Jill is a result of him wanting to balance the books, repaying her for kindness when he was struggling with his wife’s prolong battle with cancer. Once she returns home he helps her find a car to replace the one that was written off in her accident. Later he coaches her on how to mend her strained relationship with her son, Daniel. When she asks him to accompany her to Ontario to see her grandmother, he agrees. Jill was afraid to go by herself. At one point Jill perceives Bill’s need to prove he is worthy. She tells him he is a good man. He doesn’t have do things for people to like him.

The question is not which is better, talking to each other or working with each other, but do both build strong bonds?

It is just as blessed to give as it is to receive. Really! My next bog explores this concept, as does Baggage burdens.