Joseph’s
Cross
Image Worshiper series #1
Joseph, in my novel, Baggage burdens., is a man of
faith. He took the following Bible passages seriously:
Wives, submit to your
husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is
the head of the church, . . . . (Ephesians 5: 22, 23)
He (a husband) must manage his own family
well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does
not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s
church?) (1 Timothy 3:4, 5)
If anyone does not provide
for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he had denied the
faith and is worse that an unbeliever. (1 Timothy 5:8)
Joseph had no intention of
failing to provide for his family, particularly for Jill. At times Jill’s
behavior, dictated by her own upbringing, frequently challenged Joseph’s
ability to care for her. Because Jill didn’t fully share her problems with her
husband, Joseph often scrambled for solutions.
Did Joseph learn the
expectations of a husband from examples set by his father or grandfather or from
the church’s teaching? Maybe Joseph’s love for Jill compelled him to act when he
saw Jill wasn’t her normal happy energetic self. Either way, his love or responsibility for caring for Jill, his cross, felt too heavy. Frequently he sought advice from Thomas and Rebecca, his
faith neighbours who were like family to him. They often rescued him. Joseph’s strategy
added to the weight of his cross, as
the examples below show.
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Jill’s face turns red. “Do you really want to know what the problem is?”
Jill’s
voice forces Joseph to glance around the half full restaurant. Turning to Jill
he firmly answers yes.
Jill
leans forward and whispers. “When I am with Rebecca, I feel like a moron. Are
you satisfied?”
The
revelation catches Joseph off guard. He debates pushing any further. Taking her
whispered response and her leaning forward as a sign that she doesn’t want to
make a scene, he continues. “No. I don’t understand why a person who’s been so
supportive . . .”
“That’s
exactly why,” interrupts Jill. “She so good at everything. She’s such a good
friend, such a good hostess, such a good cook, and such a good mother. I can’t
compete. I can’t even come close.”
“You don’t have to compete . . .”
“And if I don’t, will you ever come to me
for advice instead of running to Rebecca? I’m tired of you asking her to
come and help me like I’m a child. Before I know it you’re going to ask her to
help me take care of my children.” Jill glances around the room to see if her
raised voice is attracting attention. “Can we leave now?” Without waiting for
an answer, she slides across the booth seat; puts on her scarf and overcoat.
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“My confusion stems from the fact that
lately I’ve frequently misread you. As a result there’ve been many times I’ve
been reluctant to talk to you. Literally, I’m afraid of how you’ll react.
Somehow I do or say something that plunges you into a state of withdrawal. But
last night was much more than withdrawal. Last night you lost complete control.
I don’t even know if you realize what you said.”
Joseph
pauses, expecting a reaction from Jill. None comes. Uncertain if Jill is
exercising patience or slipping into a depressive state again he continues.
“The doctor said when a woman loses a baby she may experience bouts of
depression.”
Jill’s
nod confirms she heard the same thing from the hospital doctor. Jill sits
looking below the pocket level on Joseph’s shirt.
“I
know you were pretty broken up when you returned from the hospital. But I felt
that after our little talk before Christmas things were improving. At Amber’s
birthday party I hoped I’d see a little of the Jill I married, but you seemed
just to be going through the motions, like it was some kind of job you had to
do. Be patient, Rebecca told me. So I
tried.”
‘Rebecca again? Always Rebecca. I
thought he said he’d quit running to her for every little thing. Who all has he
been talking to? Who else thinks I’m totally messed up?’
haiku capsule
head of family
hard
job for a man alone
without a wife’s help
Next blog: Image Worshipers –Sex––NO
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