MONEY: the root of all evil?

Money: the root of all evil?

From 1Timothy 6:10 we learn that some people crave money so much that they wander from their faith commitment. In my novel, Baggage burdens., Jill, a wife, hungers for material possessions which money provides. It leads her to encouraging her husband to work longer hours so she can purchase those items.

The question is, has Jill’s desire for her new wants lead her to place her marriage as second priority. Has she been infected by the love of money so much that she can’t see or care about the strains she’s placing on her marriage? In her case should her desire for more money be consider the evil or just the tool needed to fulfill her new wandering wants. Is her love for new possessions the evil? If not evil is it more appropriate to say that the love of money, or more money, is the root to trouble, trouble with serious consequences?

Special Disney memories captured on Jill’s camera magically appear and lazily float down to the ground like large paper snowflakes. Special unique moments drift into view and then melt away as if the cool event lands on warm black pavement. The sight of the family spread across the first bench of the boat floating through the It’s a Small, Small World brightens Jill’s spirit. 

The blizzard of holiday memories continues. Sarah sits on Mini’s knee and Amber plants a kiss on Mickey’s cheek. Matt sneaks behind Pluto and pulls his tail. Matt and Joseph pose wearing Mickey Mouse T-shirts. Amber, Sarah and Jill model Mini Mouse tops and ears. When Matt and Joseph show off their sweatshirt, Joseph fails to smile. His “we need to watch our spending” has no effect. Jill silences his objection by reminding him that he can earn a little extra spending money by accepting Bill’s request to build the basement bathroom.

If evil is being self-centered, should a wealthy person be considered evil? Does the accumulating of a lot of money mean rich people love it? Does it mean they care more about themselves than others? Perhaps a way to judge whether a person has been lead astray by money is to look at what they did with the money. In that way one may have a glimpse into their character and possibly how they amassed their wealth.

In my novel, Josey is Jill’s grandmother. She is very wealthy. Clearly her money has opened many doors for her. What is important is which doors she chose to go through. 

Her choices show that money hasn’t misdirected her. A good question is what was a part of her life that prevented her from being poisoned by the love for money and material wealth.

Before Bill flew to Oshawa, he’d done an Internet search on Josey Sommerfeld's background. He’d learned that Josey’s husband, George, originally was connected with the railroad. Later, dabbling in commercial real estate investment, he amassed a huge fortune. For the last couple of decades Josey’s heavy involvement in philanthropic adventures earned her respect from many people and organizations.

Yesterday he visited a few of the charities with which Josey was associated. Admiration for Josey’s financial, promotional and organizational talents echoed over and over. She did everything from financing and directing to hands-on work. The people Bill talked to all believed Josey’s energy suggested she was at least ten years younger than her actual age.

haiku capsule:

     Disney expense bite        

                                                              other’s bad luck changed to good     

                                                              alchemy of gold

Next blog: Acts of Kindness

Only God Knows

Only God Knows

Jill confronted her drunken father in the kitchen. She dared to challenge his behavior. Result: a neck jarring slap in the face. With pent up fury Jill delivered a similar action.

Her father exploded.

Jill deflected his first swing. More swiftly followed. His first direct hit landed Jill on the floor. Her single opportunity to escape resulted in him grabbing her hair and yanking her back. Sitting on her, he slapped her left and right again and again until Alice struck his head with a cast iron frying pan. Police were called again. Warnings were issued. Promises were made. Three weeks passed before Jill’s bruises disappeared, and she could face her classmates.

How in the world can a father treat his daughter so brutally? To such a question one might well expect, “only God knows.”

Who else would know the events in the father’s past that shaped his current behavior? Only God can judge Frank, Jill’s father. However, when people hear a report of a father hitting his child, they are quick to judge, quick to find him a despicable character. From a single report or two or three is it fair to judge Frank as a terrible person?

Jill lived with her father for seventeen years. She saw him as mean, so mean that she couldn’t live in the same house with him anymore. Her hatred for him characterized him as evil. Is that fair?

While developing a strong dislike for Frank is understandable, jumping to a conclusion that he is bad is not acceptable. Once I learned about Jill’s past I understood her disturbing behaviors. I applied that principle to Frank.

From the belief that each person is a creation of God, a masterpiece that is a work in progress, I used shared stories of interpersonal conflicts that I encountered during my teaching career to work out Frank’s untold story, a story not in my novel, Baggage burdens.

In opening the closet door to Frank’s past I saw his father’s skeleton, a poor man’s bones, a man who worked very hard to support his family. For him life left little room for blunders. That meant he couldn’t tolerate his son’s mistakes. So that Frank wouldn’t experience the same hardships he demanded obedience. Frank’s father’s insisted that Frank excel at school. The father’s constant not-good-enough-yet nature created an inferiority complex in his son. As a result Frank was determined not to be like his father.

What went wrong? Frank looked to his fellow workers for a parenting model. What he saw he couldn’t live up to. He reverted to the only other model he knew, his father’s––supply his children with their basic needs; expect obedience and good marks at school. Their failure meant forceful punishment.

Can Frank be forgiven for his parenting style? Alice, his wife, answers that question.

haiku capsule:

                                                       father’s child rearing     

                                          inferior strategy     

                                          unforgiveable?

         Next blog: Money: the root of all evil?         

Little Things Matter

Little Things Matter

Something small, said or done, can bring North Star meaning to another; can create a change in how life is lived. The response may be unintended and can’t be retracted.

I love using that technique in the novel, Baggage burdens. It throws a twist in a character’s life. One such instance is when Jill and Joseph are leaving the stage after playing the marriage game at their son’s wedding. Jill and Joseph lost. More importantly Jill showed she really didn’t know her husband very well. In the spirit of fun the Master of Ceremonies says,

“Joseph, didn’t my invitation ask you to bring your wife not an attractive substitute?”

A ripple of laughter rolls through the room.

“She is beautiful, isn’t she?” responds Joseph with a smile. His comment sparks applause.

Joseph accepted the remark in the spirit that it was intended. He hid his embarrassment, his pain. It wasn’t until he joined some of the men who went outside for a smoke that the comment became a grain of sand in his eye.

Joseph steps outside with a number of his smoking friends. Half an hour before it’s time to leave, Joseph comes back to his table. Later Amber, Thomas and Rebecca join them. By the time everyone leaves, Jill is glad the celebration is over. Her relief slowly disappears as they drive back to Camrose. The children sleep in the back seat. Joseph is stone silent. As they near home, Jill asks if something is wrong.

“I’m confused. You talking to your husband?” Joseph’s voice is low but sharp. “From what I saw tonight, you didn’t have one.” Joseph continues the rest of the way home without another word.

Much later Joseph explains to his closest friends, Thomas and Rebecca, how he really felt after the wedding.  

“Remember the marriage game that we played at Daniel’s wedding?” Joseph waits until Thomas and Rebecca nod. “When the game finished and we could return to our tables, I didn’t. I couldn’t. I was afraid of what I might say to Jill. I was hurt. I was angry.”

Thomas holds back on telling Joseph that he’s over reacting. “So you didn’t go back to the table with Jill,” says Thomas.

“Yeh, right. Sorry. I guess that still upsets me. Anyway, when I saw the guys go out for a smoke, I decided to join them.”

“Guys? Who?” cuts in Rebecca.

“Brian Polluck, Martin, Ron and Evan. Maybe Fred was there. I can’t remember anymore.”

Thomas signals with his hand for Joseph to continue with his story.

“A few minutes after I came, Aaron joins us. He apologized again for his comment asking why I didn’t bring my wife up. Brian and Evan challenged him, saying he made a good call. Evan pointed out that Jill hardly knew anything about me. And Brian added like an escort. Aaron objected but the rest of the guys laughed so loud he stopped. I was embarrassed. It felt like my marriage was exposed as a fraud. Martin came to my rescue. He pointed out that that Jill was a great cook; she took great care of the children. I was lucky to have such a good wife.

“Martin’s a pretty understanding guy,” confirms Thomas.

“Then Ron cut in saying what kind of a wife doesn’t know at least some things her husband’s likes. He said for all that Jill knows about me Jill could have been a hired maid and a governess.”

“He didn’t!” Rebecca’s face turns red.

Thomas places a hand on her lap. “He’s an idiot.” Thomas knows his wife had much stronger words.

“Maybe. But you know, the other guys around there nodded in agreement. I felt like an idiot.”

Up until the marriage game Joseph had been able to convince his neighbors that he had a good marriage.  The marriage game exposed him as a fool, blind to reality. No longer could he pretend he had a happy marriage. He began to wonder. Am I even in a marriage?

haiku capsule:

                                     truth spoken in jest     

                            barbed hook pain exposes lie     

                            face reality

        Next blog: Untold Story     

What is CHURCH?

What is church?

In the novel, Baggage burdens., what is church is not a question that Jill struggles over. For her church is simply not important. At its best it is a place to meet friends, like school. Her mother’s commitment to attending church hints that church is more than a social club, but her father’s use of the Bible as a restrictive rulebook turns her off religion.

From the moment Jill runs away from home she’s in survival mode. Church has no place in her life, but it does. The people who rescue homeless Jill are active in the protestant church. Caring Gramma Maxwell provides temporary lodging, food, and a connection to Mary Robertson. Mary works with the church’s Home-Away-from Home project. Mrs. Robertson reconnects Jill with Jill’s grandmother.

Gramma Maxwell rents her upper rooms to “quiet” college students. Her boarders praised her cooking and often invited guests. A few years ago Gramma Maxwell and her sister were convinced to open up a drop-in center. With the help of some college students, the basement suite and the drive-in garage were converted into a cozy cafeteria. Inexpensive light lunches attracted many young people.

Gramma Maxwell often served her guests. She excelled in connecting with them. Not only did she learn their names but also their passions. Returning customers knew to expect queries from her. It was the price they paid for their inexpensive food.

Some cash-strapped students let it slip “confidentially” that after a private interview with Gramma Maxwell one could get to a free bowl of soup or salad and a sandwich. They signed a bill labeled “on the House.” The notarized slips were given to her church for a refund. A request for a cup of tea with Gramma Maxwell was code for help, a confidential conversation to help a student clarify or handle a problem.

Again Jill encounters church when she moves to Camrose. Mary Prezchuck, her employer, landlord, and later very dear friend is an active member of the United Church. She introduces Jill to them. By the time Jill get’s married she knows the church members are very nice, but they’re not her kind of people.

When the phone call ends, Jill sits at the kitchen table with half a glass of apple juice. She forces herself to appear to be calm. 

“Good news!” Karen begins with a smile. “I talked to Mary Prezchuck.  She just came home from church. She says they can use some extra help. Mary and Ed can even put you up in a small room above the bakery or restaurant, whatever it is. You willing?  If not Mary said she’d call their pastor to see if he can find someone else to put you up.”

Joseph cuts in. “Aaahhh, I’d like to see our marriage blessed in the sight of God.” His proclamation is like a plate falling on the floor. Joseph breaks the silence by adding, “I don’t think it can happen in the Orthodox Community Life church. The one I go to. They’re close knit. They don’t take easily to strangers.”

“If you don’t mind being married in the United Church I can ask our minister. Jill’s been there a few times, and I think Reverend Swanson remembers Jill.” Mary checks for visual reactions from Jill and Joseph. 

Jill hasn’t established much of a relationship with the United Church minister simply because she hasn’t put an effort. A Justice of the Peace is just as good as far as she is concerned, but, when she sees the joy from Joseph’s face transform into a concern when she said Justice of the Peace, her decision is easy. “If he can fit us into his schedule. Isn’t he rather busy?” 

The smile returns to Joseph.

When Jill marries Joseph, she becomes part of a new church, an isolated, rural, conservative group. From time to time she finds them caring too, but most of the time they’re judgmental. Her way of life frequently is at odds with their traditional expectations. Jill feels she doesn’t belong. Church is cold, oppressive.

Ann asks Jill if she misses the bakery. Jill admits that she misses the interaction with the customers. Her commitment to Joseph and life on the farm with her husband is now her top priority.

When Mother Nature’s smile melts the ice off the highway, Mary chooses one of Joseph’s market days to visit Jill. Ed agrees to cover for Mary at the bakery. He too suspects that Jill is hiding something.

“Your last visit was so different from the company I’ve had recently.” Reading Mary’s confusion, Jill adds, “I’m talking about the women from Joseph’s church.”

“How is it different?” Mary sees Jill is uncomfortable with her line of questioning, but she overrules that concern.

“I’m not sure I can explain it. I first became aware of the difference when Ann asked if I missed the bakery.” 

Mary nods.

That’s when both she and Ed noticed a difference in Jill’s body language. Ed said Jill shifted around as if she sat on a hot seat. Again Jill is silent.

“Why was Ann’s question significant?”

“Well, Ann is your sister. She is part of your family. I can understand her caring how you feel, but not me. It’s not like I am family. I never thought Ann and I were that close. Ann’s question made me feel like she really cared if I am happy, like I’m part of her family.”  Jill wipes a tear creeping out of the corner of her eye. 

“She does like you. I told you that before.”

“Yes. But none of the women from church ask me how I am doing. They talk about my furniture and how lucky I am to have Joseph for a husband. Then their conversations turn to their families and others in the church. At times I feel like a waitress in my own house. I suspect I don’t fit in.” Jill retreats to the counter for a tissue and blows her nose.

Hungering for understanding human companionship, she returns to the Camrose church. Their acceptance enables Jill to join their causes for justice and to teach Bible stories to children. Church is accepting, caring. She’s happy here, until Bill, a widower, shows her she’s missing a critical element

 in her religious life, an element she later finds out is part of her mother and grandmother’s life.

“Maybe that is something you need to pray about.” Bill glances at Jill for her reaction.

“And that’s another thing I can’t appreciate.” Irritation raises Jill’s voice. She shifts around in her seat facing Bill ready to see his reaction as well as hear his words. Now is the time to challenge him.

“Praying?”

“Yes.” Jill’s response is swift, as if she’s blocking a blow and preparing a counter attack. “Every time I hear you pray do you know how you start? You begin with Dear Father. Do you have any idea what that does to me?” Jill’s challenge shoots out like a machine gun spitting bullets. “It immediately turns me off.”

                 

haiku capsule:

                                                      social meeting place     

                                         sinners wearing a saint’s cloak     

                                        God’s gathering guests

Next blog: It doesn’t take much

HOW to STRENGTHEN RELATIONSHIPS

How to  STRENGTHEN RELATIONSHIPS

––Bill Wynchuk

Building a strong connection with someone requires that that person listens and talks with the other person frequently. Common sense you say? Bill Wynchuk in the novel, Baggage burdens. would agree. Through his work as a human resource officer for a construction firm, he created strong bonds between employer and employee by frequently meeting with the workers. His willingness to listen and talk to people struggling with private problems at the Carson Wellness Center made him a valuable counselor. The personal connections he made enabled him to suggest plans of action for them. Bill’s work has shown him that because of some traumatic past event a person may find it too difficult to talk with certain people. Such a challenge presents itself in Jill, a good friend of his. How do you over come such a stumbling block? Bill credits his successes in overcoming such problems to praying and listening to God.

Bill, as a human resource officer

“Thank you. Now can we change topics?” Jill pulls her hands back.

The pleading look in Jill’s eyes causes Bill to laugh. “Certainly. What would you like to talk about?”

“Why you went to Saskatoon?”

“Saskatoon?”

“I saw the label on the pouch in your study?” Jill holds her glass out for more wine.

“To speak at a conference. I told you that.”

“What’s so new about your message that the Chamber of Commerce wants you to address their members?

“I’m not sure what I have to say is so new as it is to reaffirm what they already know. I provided a few studies to give them confidence that my claims are based on scientific evidence as well as practical experience.”

Through Jill’s encouragement Bill describes the work he did as personnel manager with his former employer. The key principal of his presentation was personnel managers need to be out of their office connecting with people in the company. By talking to them about their home life and work, businessmen demonstrate an interest in their worker’s welfare. Involving the company in solving workers’ problems like addictions earns the staff’s good will. At times it means the company’s decision makers participate in the worker’s social functions. The success reported by his company proves his ideas work.

“I think employers really appreciated the effect of diminishing interest in unions.” Bill chuckles with the last conclusion.

Bill, as a counselor

“Preparing meals at the Wellness Centre helped. It filled my day, especially in the winter. Come spring I returned to serving the drop ins who came in the afternoon. Listening to their concerns and suggesting alternate solutions came naturally to me.”

Bill catches Jill’s pronoun, “we” but chooses to deal with the implication of living in Brampton. “I have my garden in Camrose.”

Jill misses a note of concern in Bill’s voice. “Is one garden much different than another?”

“Mine is. My snapdragon is the young guy upgrading his science mark so he can register for the pipefitting course. My rose is the single mother on her last year of training to be a hairdresser. My chess playing teen is an ivy geranium needing fertilizer to bloom.”

As Bill lists clients from the Wellness Center, Jill recognizes stories that Bill has shared with her before.

“I look forward to seeing them succeed. It’s like helping a kid learn how to ride a bike. Once they get the hang of their particular skill they take off like a bird. At that point I feel like I’m soaring with them. Those are my flowers. Their successes are my flowers’ blossoms.”

“Sounds like you’re tending the Lord’s garden. He blessed you with the skill of empathizing and helping and you are using that talent to care for his people. I understand.”

  

                      Bill, a man of faith

“Jill, you really have to work on that trust. Believe me when I say I know you can do it.”

“But I don’t want to blow it.”

“Do you want help?”

“You can’t tell me what to say. It has to come from me.”

“You’re right, but I know how I can help you come up with the right words.”

“How?”

“Pray.”

“Pray?”

“Yes. Pray. I’ll ask God to lead you in your talk with Daniel.”

“I don’t know.”

 “You sound like Moses when he said to the Lord that he didn’t have the ability to speak to pharaoh. Remember. God gave him the ability he needed.”

 “That’s in the Bible. That’s a long time ago.”

 “You don’t think it happens today?”

 “Not to my knowledge. I’ve never heard anyone claim that God inspired them to say anything of value.”

 “Then hear it now. Many times in talking with clients at the Wellness Center and even when I was the personnel manager I’ve said things I never thought of. Some times I said things in ways I wouldn’t have imagined. I’ve given thanks to the Lord for opening my eyes, or rather opening my mouth at the right time and saying the right things. Believe me, it pays to ask for the Lord’s guidance in uncertain times.”

Bill speaks with such confidence that Jill refrains from challenging him.

haiku capsules:

                                  a listening ear                                     striving snapdragon

                          keen enquiring interest                      fertilized geranium

                          lasting friendships                              all are God’s children

Next blog: What is church?