Infant Writer: What is CHURCH?

What is church?

In the novel, Baggage burdens., what is church is not a question that Jill struggles over. For her church is simply not important. At its best it is a place to meet friends, like school. Her mother’s commitment to attending church hints that church is more than a social club, but her father’s use of the Bible as a restrictive rulebook turns her off religion.

From the moment Jill runs away from home she’s in survival mode. Church has no place in her life, but it does. The people who rescue homeless Jill are active in the protestant church. Caring Gramma Maxwell provides temporary lodging, food, and a connection to Mary Robertson. Mary works with the church’s Home-Away-from Home project. Mrs. Robertson reconnects Jill with Jill’s grandmother.

Gramma Maxwell rents her upper rooms to “quiet” college students. Her boarders praised her cooking and often invited guests. A few years ago Gramma Maxwell and her sister were convinced to open up a drop-in center. With the help of some college students, the basement suite and the drive-in garage were converted into a cozy cafeteria. Inexpensive light lunches attracted many young people.

Gramma Maxwell often served her guests. She excelled in connecting with them. Not only did she learn their names but also their passions. Returning customers knew to expect queries from her. It was the price they paid for their inexpensive food.

Some cash-strapped students let it slip “confidentially” that after a private interview with Gramma Maxwell one could get to a free bowl of soup or salad and a sandwich. They signed a bill labeled “on the House.” The notarized slips were given to her church for a refund. A request for a cup of tea with Gramma Maxwell was code for help, a confidential conversation to help a student clarify or handle a problem.

Again Jill encounters church when she moves to Camrose. Mary Prezchuck, her employer, landlord, and later very dear friend is an active member of the United Church. She introduces Jill to them. By the time Jill get’s married she knows the church members are very nice, but they’re not her kind of people.

When the phone call ends, Jill sits at the kitchen table with half a glass of apple juice. She forces herself to appear to be calm.

“Good news!” Karen begins with a smile. “I talked to Mary Prezchuck. She just came home from church. She says they can use some extra help. Mary and Ed can even put you up in a small room above the bakery or restaurant, whatever it is. You willing? If not Mary said she’d call their pastor to see if he can find someone else to put you up.”

Joseph cuts in. “Aaahhh, I’d like to see our marriage blessed in the sight of God.” His proclamation is like a plate falling on the floor. Joseph breaks the silence by adding, “I don’t think it can happen in the Orthodox Community Life church. The one I go to. They’re close knit. They don’t take easily to strangers.”

“If you don’t mind being married in the United Church I can ask our minister. Jill’s been there a few times, and I think Reverend Swanson remembers Jill.” Mary checks for visual reactions from Jill and Joseph.

Jill hasn’t established much of a relationship with the United Church minister simply because she hasn’t put an effort. A Justice of the Peace is just as good as far as she is concerned, but, when she sees the joy from Joseph’s face transform into a concern when she said Justice of the Peace, her decision is easy. “If he can fit us into his schedule. Isn’t he rather busy?”

The smile returns to Joseph.

When Jill marries Joseph, she becomes part of a new church, an isolated, rural, conservative group. From time to time she finds them caring too, but most of the time they’re judgmental. Her way of life frequently is at odds with their traditional expectations. Jill feels she doesn’t belong. Church is cold, oppressive.

Ann asks Jill if she misses the bakery. Jill admits that she misses the interaction with the customers. Her commitment to Joseph and life on the farm with her husband is now her top priority.

When Mother Nature’s smile melts the ice off the highway, Mary chooses one of Joseph’s market days to visit Jill. Ed agrees to cover for Mary at the bakery. He too suspects that Jill is hiding something.

“Your last visit was so different from the company I’ve had recently.” Reading Mary’s confusion, Jill adds, “I’m talking about the women from Joseph’s church.”

“How is it different?” Mary sees Jill is uncomfortable with her line of questioning, but she overrules that concern.

“I’m not sure I can explain it. I first became aware of the difference when Ann asked if I missed the bakery.”

Mary nods.

That’s when both she and Ed noticed a difference in Jill’s body language. Ed said Jill shifted around as if she sat on a hot seat. Again Jill is silent.

“Why was Ann’s question significant?”

“Well, Ann is your sister. She is part of your family. I can understand her caring how you feel, but not me. It’s not like I am family. I never thought Ann and I were that close. Ann’s question made me feel like she really cared if I am happy, like I’m part of her family.” Jill wipes a tear creeping out of the corner of her eye.

“She does like you. I told you that before.”

“Yes. But none of the women from church ask me how I am doing. They talk about my furniture and how lucky I am to have Joseph for a husband. Then their conversations turn to their families and others in the church. At times I feel like a waitress in my own house. I suspect I don’t fit in.” Jill retreats to the counter for a tissue and blows her nose.

Hungering for understanding human companionship, she returns to the Camrose church. Their acceptance enables Jill to join their causes for justice and to teach Bible stories to children. Church is accepting, caring. She’s happy here, until Bill, a widower, shows her she’s missing a critical element

in her religious life, an element she later finds out is part of her mother and grandmother’s life.

“Maybe that is something you need to pray about.” Bill glances at Jill for her reaction.

“And that’s another thing I can’t appreciate.” Irritation raises Jill’s voice. She shifts around in her seat facing Bill ready to see his reaction as well as hear his words. Now is the time to challenge him.

“Praying?”

“Yes.” Jill’s response is swift, as if she’s blocking a blow and preparing a counter attack. “Every time I hear you pray do you know how you start? You begin with Dear Father. Do you have any idea what that does to me?” Jill’s challenge shoots out like a machine gun spitting bullets. “It immediately turns me off.”