Parent Imprint

Parent Imprint

(Imprint – when ducklings hatch and learn to recognize the first moving object as their parents.) Unquestioning acceptance is what I take as imprinting. Growing up children will challenge some ways of their parents, while other ways are accepted without question. Looking at examples of behaviors and values that have been accepted may lead to discovering effective ways of teaching children about what is really important.

I can’t help being comfortably committed to the value of not wasting anything, a value I picked up from my parents who grew up during the depression. “Don’t waste” was never taught; it was lived everyday. Put no more on your plate than you can eat. Clean your plate. Supper leftovers appeared in soup or casserole the next day or as part of lunch. Nails from broken fence boards were pulled out, straightened and put in the drawer with spare nuts and bolts from other equipment. Reuse thinking was common practice before the environment movement was born.

In my novel, Baggage burdens. the reader may notice several instances where children adopt their parent’s not taught values. The accepted practices made sense. They served a worthwhile purpose. Two of my favorite examples are: (1) Independent-thinking Eve values a large family like her mother did. (2) Mark, Bill’s son, applies his father’s practice of knowing and caring for the whole person when it comes to his fellow workers.

 (1)

Jill begins to wonder about the seriousness of Daniel and Eve’s relationship. ‘Does Eve’s mother suspect? Probably not. She’d never approve.’

Jill appreciates Eve’s offer to clear the supper table. Early evening’s conversation erases Jill’s uneasiness. When Eve asks Jill what impresses her about city living, Jill finds Eve’s mother’s judgmental attitude missing. Talking to Eve is as easy as talking to Julie, Jill’s niece.

Wanting to know her guest better, Jill asks Eve if she has any idea about what she wants to do when she finished school.

Without hesitation Eve answers. “Get married and have children, several children like Mom did.”

(2)

“Why did you go to Saskatoon?” asks Jill.

 “To speak at a conference. I told you that,” says Bill.

“What’s so new about your message that the Chamber of Commerce wants you to address their members?

“I’m not sure what I have to say is so new as it is to reaffirm what they already know. I provided a few studies to give them confidence that my claims are based on scientific evidence as well as practical experience.”

Through Jill’s encouragement Bill describes the work he did as personnel manager with his former employer. The key principal of his presentation was personnel managers need to be out of their office connecting with people in the company. By talking to them about their home life and work, businessmen demonstrate an interest in their worker’s welfare. Involving the company in solving workers’ problems like addictions earns the staff’s good will. At times it means the company’s decision makers participate in the worker’s social functions. The success reported by his company proves his ideas work.

“I think the employers really appreciated the effect of diminishing interests in unions.” Bill chuckles with the last conclusion.

Daniel looks to Mark. “So what exactly is it that you do?” asks Daniel, as he bounces his son on his knee.

Grinning, Mark begins, “You could say I’m a floater. Wherever the company needs me that’s where I go––set up, repairs, welding, drilling, even security. Many of our workers are young. Keeping them isn’t easy. Lately, as in the last four years, I’ve been training, actually mentoring would be more like it.”

“What’s the difference?” asks Daniel, as he shifts Shawn to his other knee.

“Training is skill building. That’s relatively easy. Mentoring is working with new employees. I not only teach them skills, but I make a point of getting to know them and their family.”

“Sounds like that’s beyond your job description. Probably takes up a lot more time too.”

“You’re right. That’s exactly what my supervisor said too when he found out what I was up to. The thing is, the people who work with me have stayed with the company. They don’t quit.”

“Why not?”

“Because when I learn what’s important to their family life, I always link the family goals with the company’s goals and their paychecks. Frequently I know the wife and the children. I praise the father in their presence and talk to them about their family goals. Thanks to what I learn from the wife and the children, I’m able to motivate the men to work the long hours or tackle assignments they’d rather not.”

 haiku capsule:                 

unquestioned habits     

comfortable commitment

identity trait

Next blog:  A Home Away from Home

part one