MOM

Mom

When you were a child living at home, were you aware of any parent who was really tuned into you? What memories stand out?

For me it was Mom. Dad was easy going and friendly enough, but my mother was a stay-at-home-mom. She had much more time to watch me.  

When I enrolled in the Faculty of Education, she smiled. “I always thought you would be a teacher. Before you started school, the neighbors’ kids came over to play. You would sit them in small rows and pretend to be their teacher.”

I ended up teaching for thirty-one years.

Mom and I were one when it came to food. I loved to eat: she loved to cook. Perfect! Every now and then she would add or reduce an ingredient. I’d guess what she did. Lucky for me, Dad wasn’t big on eating so Mom cooked to please me. Since Dad was at work when Mom did her baking, I had no competition to see who would clean the bowl, lick the spoon.

Even though she died more than twenty-five years ago, she still stands beside me when I make borscht, kapusta, potato/dumpling soup, potato pie, corn meal, cabbage rolls or perogies. “It’s not only what you put in but how you make it, that counts,” she said.

I learned the how in making perogies. To make the dough, water had to drip in to the flour while you were mixing. Wait until the dough starts clumping into balls and there’s little sign of dry flour in the bowl. Then sprinkle a little olive oil. Dough can’t be too dry or too sticky. “To properly seal each perogy, squeeze the edges tight and slightly slide your finger and thumb together. Then when they’re boiling, the perogies they won’t open and lose their potatoes.”

If she were here now, I would ask her how she made her cinnamon buns, the ones with the dried fruit. We didn’t practice making them enough.

In my novel, Baggage burdens. I describe a similar attachment between Jill and her mother. Dads can be seen as special too. Many events show how Daniel and his father develop a very strong attachment. Both parents may have a very close relationship with their child, as is the case with Amber. She senses her father’s unspoken pain. She speaks more frankly to her mother than any family member or family friend can.

Jill’s mother stands back from her hairstyling creation. “You look absolutely beautiful.”

Jill melts into her heavenly memory, feeling safe, loved, treasured. She soaks up the event as if absorbing a hot summer day’s sun with the hope it will never end.

Jill opens the second album, a new chapter in Daniel’s life. She’s documenting an ever-growing closer relationship between Joseph and Daniel. Pictures feature Joseph running beside Daniel for his first bicycle ride and Daniel sitting on Joseph’s knees steering the lawn tractor. The photo of Daniel sitting on top of a pile of pruned lilac branches to weigh them down as Joseph drove the tractor supports the caption, Dad’s helper. The following picture shows father and son working together in the garden. Joseph scribed the caption, My helper. Jill recalls Daniel beaming when he read it.

 haiku capsule:

Mom baking cupcakes

me, licking the icing spoon

lifelong bonding times

Next blog:

Shouldn’t Have Said That