I Don’t Know
So, you don’t know something. You’re stuck. Where do you go for an answer, or to whom do you go to? Google? A friend? Let’s say that the information you seek is something of a general nature like: how do you manage with four children? How do you know about all those discount prices? Or how can you convince your hair dresser to charge you for cutting your hair at the same price as a man? Which resort should you stay at in Orlando?
No. I’m not providing the answers to those questions, but I am considering from where those answers come. The first assumption is that you have knowledgeable friends and you are computer savvy. You might wonder, does it matter? In as far as your action can be seen as an indicator of your values, yes. From a writer’s standpoint, it is a factor to consider.
If you’re comfortable learning about the best daycare center in your area from coffee-time girls, or the best bathroom renovator from your hockey buddies, then it suggests you value your friends and their opinions. A computer nerd who wants information now wouldn’t hesitate to use google. From that behavior one could build a character who prefers to be independent and perhaps desires instant service. In a community where human relationships are valued, the person in the latter case could face friction. Friends not consulted could feel hurt or insulted. Of course, one could check both sources and pick the information that seems most appropriate. Such a strongly independent person would have to work at cultivating good relationships.
Those two types of individuals are seen in my novel, Baggage burdens. Joseph frequently turns to his close friends, Thomas and Rebecca, when he has marital problems. While they don’t always have an answer, he does appreciate their guidance. On the other hand, Jill, Joseph’s wife, rarely consults with the women in the church about raising children. Her reliance on computer information is not well received by the women in her community. The difference in husband and wife values also sets up for family turmoil.
As the time for Jill to give birth nears, the women at the church show a renewed interest in Jill’s welfare. They say they are praying for Jill and the birth of a healthy child. Jill judges their interest is genuine. Her reluctance to go to church on summer Sundays decreases.
Complaining arises among a couple of the older women. It follows after Jill describes her online research efforts to guarantee that she will have a normal birth. The grumbling women expect that Jill would have turned to them. Rebecca points out that Jill’s heart is in the right place. She silences them by questioning where their hearts are.
Joseph’s attempts to engage Jill in conversation result in one- or two-word responses. Once again, in desperation Joseph shares his concerns about Jill’s low-level efforts with Thomas and Rebecca.
“I think she still can’t get over losing Christine,” he tells Rebecca.
“Could be. Be patient.” Rebecca reaches out to comfort Joseph. In a lower voice, she hints that perhaps it might be time to take Jill to her doctor. “It’s been more than four months.”
“It’s so maddening! It’s like she’s stuck in the mud, spinning her wheels, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“Maybe there is.” Thomas’s comment drifts out slowly as if he is thinking of a possibility but hasn’t worked out the details.
“What do you mean?” Joseph studies his friend.
“All I can think of is,” he pauses, “end her brooding; get her mind out of the past. Excite her about something in the future. You know, give her something to look forward to.”
“Like what?” Frustration colors Joseph’s response. “She didn’t even get excited about Amber’s birthday party. I mean she loves Amber, but—” Joseph throws his arms up in resignation.
“Maybe suggest that she visit Ann or even Mary.” Thomas’s suggestion lacks confidence.
Rebecca quickly offers, “Valentine’s Day is coming up. Find ways to show her that she’s loved. Maybe do something special for Valentine’s Day.”
Before Joseph leaves, the Croschuks pray for him. While driving home, Joseph feels relieved, even though he didn’t think their suggestions were useful.
haiku capsule:
when lost in a fog
turn to whom? turn to Google?
Man verses Machine
Next blog: All on You
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Who do you look to for information?
What do you think that says about the kind of person you are?
I’d love to use it on my new website that’s being developed.
All comments will be entered for a draw on the Baggage burdens. companion novel.
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