A Burden

You Are a Burden

You are a burden.That’s something you’d probably never say to someone even if you thought it. However, caring for a difficult child or living with a challenging spouse could still be a handful. Coping might be the best you can do because leaving them is not an option.

When facing a tremendous challenge, what do you do?Having a network of support, even if it is just one or two people, can be amazingly helpful. That support network can be a safe place to let off steam or a source of encouragement. New strategies may also arise. At times that support group can be a handy helping hand, allowing one to tackle other demands in life. 

The most critical factor in caring for a person with overwhelming troubles is love. Love for the needy person allows one to absorb the impact of failures and times when actions backfire. 

In my novel, Baggage burdens., Jill’s mother’s love for her alcoholic husband allows her to put up with many pains, the most hurtful is the disapproval of her children. However, she finds there is a limit to the burden she can carry for him.  

Joseph, Jill’s husband, loves his wife even though she has some strange behaviors. Her depression after losing her baby is expected, but he rises to the occasion. Unexpected mood changes catch him off guard. His support continues. He defends her. Then she crosses the line. Love dissipates. She becomes an unacceptable burden. Why? What has she done to make caring for her no longer worth it? 

Jill’s father’s frustrated roar breaks through. In too short a time, the incident that Jill drowns out with everyday responsibilities replays. 

“He said he wouldn’t drink anymore!” Jill’s outburst erupts as she fails to contain her fury. 

Her mother doesn’t respond. Righteous anger forces the seventeen-year-old to her feet to face her father. 

“He’d better go downstairs and call his AA buddy.” Jill summons her courage, then advances, intent to demonstrate her conviction and redirect her father downstairs.

Alice scrambles after her angry daughter. “Jill, don’t.”

“Don’t what? That was the deal. He said if he ever comes home drunk again, we could tell him he had to call his AA buddy. We could remind him of it. He agreed to that. Remember?” The volume of her voice rises.

Jill advances again toward the top of the stairs, planning to meet her father before he reaches the top step. The smoke from the cigarette, which he tossed on the top of the stairs, nips at her nostrils. Step on it, flashes through her mind. Before she can act, her mother’s objection interrupts.

“Yes, but …” 

Jill wheels around and faces her mother. “But what?”

Alice fails to explain how Jill’s provocative voice could ignite an emotional explosion and possibly a violent confrontation. The frustrated growling from the porch announces an intoxicated struggle to get out of outside clothes. 

“Let me talk to him. Please go to your room.” Alice’s pleading voice weakens Jill’s resolve.

Grumbling continues to bounce off the porch walls.

“Let me help you,” insists the indignant girl. “We have to stand up to him. We’re stronger together.”

“No. Please. Go to your room. Quickly.” 

Joseph’s attempts to engage Jill in conversation result in one- or two-word responses. Once again, in desperation Joseph shares his concerns about Jill’s low-level efforts with Thomas and Rebecca. 

“I think she still can’t get over losing Christine,” he tells Rebecca.

“Could be. Be patient.” Rebecca reaches out to comfort Joseph. In a lower voice, she hints that perhaps it might be time to take Jill to her doctor. “It’s been more than four months.”

“It’s so maddening! It’s like she’s stuck in the mud, spinning her wheels, and there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“Maybe there is.” Thomas’s comment drifts out slowly as if he is thinking of a possibility but hasn’t worked out the details.

“What do you mean?” Joseph studies his friend.

“All I can think of is,” he pauses, “end her brooding; get her mind out of the past. Excite her about something in the future. You know, give her something to look forward to.” 

“Like what?” Frustration colors Joseph’s response. “She didn’t even get excited about Amber’s birthday party. I mean she loves Amber, but—” Joseph throws his arms up in resignation.

Haiku capsule:

Too much to handle

Struggles with overwhelming task

Silent admission

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Three Strong Women