BROKEN

Broken

a Tragedy

In an alcohol-fueled fury, Jill’s father smashed a major drama homework project that Jill spent hours creating. Instead of being grateful that her mother saved her from being the target of her father’s rage, Jill’s anger and helplessness overwhelmed her. Knowing that her father’s behavior wouldn’t change––it hadn’t even though the police had been called before––Jill ran away from home. She left six weeks before graduation. With courage and determination and no alternate home, Jill struck out alone. Relying on hope she boarded at Dave’s place. He was an old boyfriend. That failed. Hope brought her to Mrs. Maxwell, a woman, not even a friend, to temporarily put her up. Hope supported Jill in reconnecting with her grandmother. Jill’s resilience provided her with the foundation for a promising future. 

Fear is the beginning of wisdom. It saved Jill from potential harm at her father’s hand. Fear forced her to leave Dave’s when she couldn’t trust him to keep his word. Her fear flag flew at the suggestion that her parents be told she was okay. They couldn't know where she was. It flapped again when connecting with her grandmother was proposed. Fear kept Jill’s location a secret and kept her safe.

The flaw, unrestrained fear, overrules rational thought. Like a toboggan starting down a hill, fear slowly dismisses compromises.  Soon the ride races at breakneck speed, threatening harm unless firm control is regain. Jill’s escape from her grandmother’s love starts her down hill. Her seeking refuge on an isolated farm, her assumption that Joseph, her husband, was stealing her son’s love mirrors a wild speed. Strict control over sexual activity with her husband and being the home schoolteacher for her other children restores control and Jill’s sense of safety. Her ill exercised control grows antagonism and shattering isolation.

Another flaw hides in Jill, one planted by her father––you’re a disobedient child, a bad child, one deserving punishment not love. To dismiss this perception Jill attempts to be better than her mother. As a parent she fails with her eldest son, but succeeds with her other children. Completing her education and having a large family build her self-image. Still haunted by a sin from her past, she strives to earn respect. Then her husband tells her he wants nothing to do with her anymore, a knockout blow! She is worse than her mother. As a single mother, she is bound for harder times. The rejection confirms she is unworthy of respect. Scrambling to care for her children she adjusts. Control is restored until she is in a car accident. Broken psychologically and physically, unable to care for her children, she realizes she has nothing. There is no courage, no determination, no hope.

How can one recover from a negated self-image?

God’s love for His children often goes unseen. In Jill’s case, in Baggage Burdens. she accepts the story of God’s redemptive actions like the stories of Santa Clause. She escapes discussing her beliefs until she confesses alone she can’t solve the tension between her and her eldest son. The next blog looks at what Jill could not see.