Play––Not Everything

PLAY Isn’t EVERYTHING

in the Family    

Play is an excellent means of developing bonds of friendship. At the heart of play is acceptance, even in a game where there is winners and losers. The value of a person does not rest upon their success. While participants in a game cheer the winner, the skilled or “lucky” one adopts a role of coach and enhances the abilities of friends. The supportive role may not be readily visible in sports, but it should be in a family.

Working together is an excellent means of strengthening bonds of friendship. In my novel, Baggage burdens., children see how hard their father, Joseph, works. Daniel, Joseph’s first son, helps his father. Joseph’s appreciation builds a strong bond with his son, a bond so strong it withstands gentle teasing. Joseph uses several techniques to communicate his appreciation of his children’s help. Consider how Joseph, giving money for his children to go to the Calgary Stampede, is different from paying them for work to be done.

One might argue that living in a rural setting lends itself more easily to a family working together. Jill’s move to Camrose shows that being an urban homeowner can involve the children in the care of their home.

The photo of Daniel sitting on top of a pile of pruned lilac branches to weigh them down in a trailer as Joseph drives the tractor supports the caption, Dad’s Helper. The following picture shows father and son working together in the garden. Joseph scribed, “My New Thomas.” Jill recalls Daniel beaming when he read it.

Another picture shows Daniel’s head poking out of the side of some tall raspberry bushes. He had asked if he could help. Later Joseph caught Daniel’s red stained mouth, proof he was sampling more than picking. Joseph’s caption, “IN THE BASKET, NOT YOUR MOUTH,” always drew a quick defense from Daniel and laughter from Joseph.

 “Dad? Can you take us to the Calgary Stampede this year?” asks Daniel, as Amber helps Jill clean dirty dishes off the supper table.

Daniel’s request means losing a full day of work. Work on the fields has been piling up, even with help from Amber and Daniel. Jill claims she’s too busy with Sarah and Matthew to help. Joseph wishes he could reward his children for the work they have already done.

“Can I think about it?”

Daniel asks again. “If you can’t take us, can we go with Mr. Wicksberg? He said he’s taking his family for the day. We could go with him if it is okay with you.”

“We?” asks Joseph.

“Yes. I want to go too. I’ve never gone,” says Amber. “Daniel and I promise to work in the field with you in the evening instead of going riding after supper. You won’t have to worry about falling farther behind.”

The next morning Joseph surprises Daniel with the amount of money he gives them to have a good time in Calgary.

After everyone’s finished breakfast, Jill announces that the family day will begin by raking leaves.

“Oh boy!” responds Matt.

“Oh boy?” Jill can’t believe her ears.

“It’s fun,” explains Sarah. “We make a huge pile of leaves in the middle of the garden.”

“And we race our bikes through it,” adds Matt.

“Or we pile the leaves up and jump into it,” continues Sarah.

“Yeh,” says Matt enthusiastically.

“Or we burry you in the leaves,” adds Amber laughing at the prospect of covering her brother up again this year.

“You’re kidding!” Jill’s shocked. “Fun?”

“Dad always lets us do that,” says Sarah.

“How do you think he sucks all of us into helping him,” explains Amber.

Jill puts the breakfast dishes aside for washing. Her children rush outside. When she joins them, they all have rakes in their hand. A growing line of dry leaves shows they need no instruction or supervision.

 “Start by the garbage bags,” yells Matt, when he sees Jill grab the rake leaning against the patio table.

Two hours fly by. Bulging bags of leaves line one side of the garage. A three-foot pile expands in the middle of the garden. Jill’s back hurts. Stretching offers temporary relief. She focuses on Matt squatting at one end of the garden. He’s breaking dry branches and twigs and piling them up.

“What are you doing?” she asks puzzled. Matt stops tossing more kindling in the wheelbarrow.

“Preparing for a little fire,” replies Matt. “We’ll roast wieners and marshmallows.”

 “That’s our lunch,” says Sarah. “Remember. We did that last year.”

How would you describe Joseph technique(s) for making the children feel like they are part of a family team?

How could that work today, or could it?

haiku capsule:

             working together        

                               fun flavors family chores     

                               Creates lasting bonds.

Next blog: Simple Pleasures––Love Birthday Parties