Responding to Failure

Responding to Failure

When you make a mistake, does it frustrate you? Of course. Your goal or dream is now at worst unattainable, at best delayed. What other response is there?

How about, “Really!” I now have a new opportunity to learn something, something unexpected, and something that might lead to a surprising payoff. Unravel a puzzle. Solve a mystery. Both can boost one’s ego; both demonstrate you’re intelligent. By continually tackling the unexpected problems, one develops a large tool box of strategies to handle the next unwanted challenge.

Naturally a fall in the climb to a goal will upset a person. The key is that the disturbance is short. Why? Because of one’s self-confidence. I can do this. I can figure this out. One acquires this self-confidence by solving past setbacks. Success builds success. Another factor that builds a person’s self-confidence is seeing that others work at and overcome their stumbling blocks.

In my novel, Baggage burdens. several characters face unexpected, unwanted challenges and still achieve their goal. One such character is Josey. Her ability to solve problems earns her the admiration of Jill, her granddaughter. Like any grandmother Josey wants to be close to her daughter and her daughter’s children. Because of Josey’s aggressive criticism of Frank’s drinking, her son-in-law demands that there be no more contact in his family with Josey. To handle this unexpected development Josey develops a social network to find out what is happening in her daughter’s family. She does the same when Jill, her granddaughter, runs three provinces away from her. An old person like Josey can be said to have a lifetime of experiences to grant her unfailing self-assurance, however, Amber, a young growing artist shows that same confidence.

Julie, Jill’s niece, shows unfailing resourcefulness in her search for her aunt, Jill. Julie and her husband move from Oshawa, Ontario to Edmonton, Alberta. At the request of her great grandmother, Josey, Julie searches for Jill who lives in Camrose, Alberta. At first Julie gets nowhere. She’s seen as an outsider. Moving to Camrose solves her problem. Gradually she’s welcomed a member of the community. Slowly she discovers the location of her aunt.

Now while the examples that follow below may be dismissed as figments of the author’s imagination, readers are challenged to look at the lives of members of their family or friends. That’s how I found my examples of people confidently accepting and solving unexpected challenges.

After the baptism, Frank came to church with Alice,” says Josey. “I began to think that being a father was changing him. Later, I learned that he was drinking less and coming home earlier. I didn’t needle him about his drinking. I learned my lesson.”

“Wait a minute. Did Mom tell you that my father was drinking less?”

“Oh no. That was a touchy subject. Alice and I didn’t discuss that. I knew a number of women whose husbands worked at the GM plant and had the same shift as Frank. They were my grape vine. They kept me well informed. For instance, I knew that Frank was being considered for a promotion. One of the supervisors fell seriously ill and Frank’s name came up as a replacement. Frank was known for quality work. He also had a talent for teaching new procedures to men and encouraging them to accept changes.”

“You knowing that shouldn’t have been a problem,” says Jill.

“It wasn’t, but I also found out when Frank drank heavily. One night when he left the bar, he backed into a metal railing damaging the passenger’s side of his car. I waited until his day off to visit Alice. It was only three days later. Frank hadn’t booked the vehicle with a body shop yet. Of course I drew his attention to the damage. He tried to brush it off by saying it was just a little accident. I said, an accident fueled by alcohol. That was my mistake.”

“What do you mean?”

“I let it slip that I heard all about the accident. I exposed my grape vine.”

           

“Then you are family,” says Ann. “And I helped unite your family! This is wonderful. We know so little about Jill before she came to Camrose. Any interesting skeletons in the closet?” asks Ann, laughing.

“Probably none,” answers Julie quickly with a sly grin. “If Jill—may I call you that?” asks Julie, looking at Jill.

Jill nods.

“If Jill hasn’t rattled them, I won’t be either.”

“Now that’s a close family,” laughs Ann approvingly. “Protect each other.”

For the first time since she sat at the table, Jill sips her tea and takes a cookie. “Kind of like the people in Camrose,” adds Julie.

“What do you mean?” asks Ann, surprised.

“I drove down from Edmonton. That’s where Scott, my husband, and I lived. I drove here several weekends to see if I could pick up a trace of Jill, but I think I was seen as a stranger. No one would tell me anything. Finally I convinced Scott to move down here. As I thought, once people saw I was from around here, they’d start to open up. Even then it was tough. For a while, the most I heard was, ‘Yes, some young blond girl moved here from the east.’ Eventually your name,” Julie looks to Ann, “surfaced. Several people said I should talk to Mrs. Teemosky. I began asking how I could find you.” Julie looks at Ann. “Your pastor directed me,” explains Julie. “I take it you’ve attended this church?” Julie looks to Jill.

“Sometimes,” says Jill, taking another sip of her tea.

“I thought the pastor knew more than he was letting on,” says Julie, nodding.

“Look what I made for you, Aunt Julie,” announces Amber as she tugs her aunt's hand.

Julie squats. “What’ve you got there?” She points to an index card held in Amber’s hand.

Amber turns the card around for Julie to see a strawberry shortcake that she painted. “For you,” announces Amber. “You like strawberry shortcakes, so I painted one for you.”

“It’s beautiful. And such incredible detail! I can even see the seeds on the strawberries. For me? You sure?”

Amber nods, prompting Julie to give her a hug and thank her.

“Let me show you something special,” says Amber. She reaches for her card. “You see this?”

“Yes.”

“It kind of looks like a mistake, doesn’t it?” confesses Amber. “A bug landed on my work, so I used a corner of a toilet paper to wipe it away. I tried to be really careful and just barely touch the painting. It smudged. I was going to throw it away. Then I used my finger to brush away the spot. It smeared. I looked at it again.” Floating her thumb gently over the smudge, she explains, “I lengthened it. Now it looks like someone took a spoon and started eating the cake. Don’t you think that’s what it looks like?”

“I do!” says Julie, surprised at the young artist’s creative genius. “I’m sure glad you didn’t throw it out. I think I’ll buy a frame and put your painting in it. When you come to my place someday …” She pauses and looks at Jill. When Jill nods her approval, Julie continues, “You’ll see it up on the wall.”

“Really!” Amber’s thrilled.

Her mother hasn’t framed any of her pictures. After Amber runs back to the house to play with Sarah, Julie turns to Jill. “You know, this is really good!

haiku capsule:                 

build self confidence

overcome unplanned challenges

Witness a winner.

Next blog: 

Good Friends––A Most Valuable Asset