Arresting Mistreatment
If you see someone being mistreated, do you make an attempt to stop the abuse? To answer this question, you might want to consider the context of let’s say an emotional and physical unacceptable behavior––a family setting with a father who comes home after having had too much to drink.
A first response may very well be, if it is a family problem, the family should deal with it. Even when acting under the wisdom that says confront the father when he is in a sober state, the bread winner holds the trump card. His denial ends reform. Seeking outside help is difficult. For the wife, it means admitting she isn’t loved as much as a bottle. Embarrassing. What did she do to cause her devaluation? For a child, it must deal with the ugly perception that they it is bad and thus not worthy or love.
What can be done? Members outside of the immediate family are often aware, even vaguely aware of trouble. They are most in the position to counter the psychological damage that says they are not worthy. That opens the door for seeking professional help. Of course, such outside interference may be strongly challenged. There is a risk in intervening, but is stepping up for an injured hurting party worth it?
Perhaps when one knows the potential cost of looking the other way it would be easier to answer the last question. That is the purpose of my book, Baggage burdens. One expects emotional upheaval, (anger, fear, hurt) after a daughter is beaten up by her alcohol-fueled father. It may be suspected that the emotional turmoil lasts longer than it takes for the physical healing to take place. What isn’t expected is that psychological damage may last for years and that those psychological injuries may cause emotional pain to others. That is the case for the protagonist, Jill, in Baggage burdens. Her struggles were inspired by a real-life woman. While many ineffective actions were taken as is shown by the next two excerpts, only one turned out to be effective and that was not a decision initiated by Jill.
Police were called again. Warnings were issued. Promises were made. Three weeks passed before Jill’s bruises disappeared and she dared to face her classmates.
“Once you were absent for three weeks. I didn’t call you. I should have. When you came back, you avoided your friends. You even avoided me. I felt like you didn’t want me for a friend, because I wasn’t there for you. I don’t want that to happen again. I’d like to respect your privacy, but this sounds too serious. Now come on, fess up.”
Jill’s eyes water. She looks down and tries to muffle her crying. Within seconds, Robin is out of her chair and sliding beside her friend. She lightly wraps her arm around Jill’s shoulders and draws her close. Jill momentarily tenses.
“Did you call the police?”
Jill pauses. “Last night, he was so mean. You can’t call the police for that.” Jill considers what to tell her friend.
“Jill?”
Jill nods. “Before. We called a couple of months ago,” she whispers. Jill wipes the tears away with tissue that Robin pulls out of her little clutch purse.
“And?”
Still afraid her voice is going to break into a more audible cry, she shakes her head. “It did no good.”
“What happened last night?”
Feeling uncomfortable with Robin’s persistence, Jill edges away slightly. How can I tell Robin my father beats my mother because of me? How can I tell her I’m the reason my mother doesn’t like me? She shakes her head.
“Jill, there are counselors at school, at church, in …”
Robin cuts off her words when Jill takes a huge breath. Before Jill can burst out crying, Robin sits back. Jill relaxes a little. In a slow, deliberate voice just loud enough for Robin to hear, Jill says, “I’m not going back … ever.”
haiku capsule:
hard to cry out, “Help,”
assistance is out of reach
call for aid unheard
Nextblog: Agonizing Over Decisions
Order the e-book from kindle or kobo now or your soft cover from Amazon.
An offer to help before it is asked for is out of place. Right?
Perhaps the real question here is who most needs the help?
I’d love to use it on my new website that’s being developed.
All comments will be entered for a draw on the Baggage burdens.companion novel.
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