Problem Drinker

Problem Drinker!

“Problem drinker! Me? No way.”

That denial would be the response of Jill’s father in my novel, Baggage burdens.

“I may have a drink or two, now and then, especially before a party. It helps me relax, enjoy myself, enjoy others. Everyone does it. What’s the harm in that?”

                         

            

 While Jill is in her early teens, she isn’t afraid of being punched. She dares to tell her father “your after-work drinking with the guys isn’t just now and then. It’s every weekend, and many times during the week.”

Jill’s challenge is the tip of the iceberg. Her father’s alcohol-fueled anger embarrasses her to such a degree that she refuses to invite friends home. Her apparent aloofness results in Jill having very few friends.

At times Jill’s mother, understanding the cause of Frank’s drinking, attempts to cool Jill’s burning hostility by defending Jill’s father. Jill’s enabling mother sometimes leaves Jill with the feeling that her mother doesn’t like her.

Strained relations often lead to family breakups. Frank’s first few swallows of booze wash away the effects of calling the police, his apologies and promises. Unable to stand the volatile home atmosphere, Jill’s older sister, Kathy, runs away. Three years later Jill does too. More years pass before Alice leaves her husband.

Stories of social drinking leading to family disaster are common from people in AA, Al-a-non, Al-a-teen and Teen Challenge. Certainly Jill’s mother couldn’t see that her soon-to-be-husband’s social drinking would lead to the destruction of her family.

What makes Jill’s story different is the far-reaching effects of her father’s drinking. To understand its impact, one must recognize Jill’s prime motivation for running away––FEAR. Her emotional response generalizes to rejecting anyone who moderately drinks. She intends to avoid her mother’s mistake. Connections Jill makes to an intoxicated person––smoking, beards, raised voices, and loud noises, all images related to her father––serve to arouse Jill’s distrust. Later she extends her apprehension to all men after an inebriated, male friend takes advantage of her.

A lengthy absence from her father fails to diminish Jill's anxiety to images associated with alcoholic drinkers. Later a doctor in the hospital, Jill's husband, Joseph, her eldest son, Daniel, all experiences the effects of her mistrust. Others close to Jill, a respected grandmother, her mother and friends like Dave, Ben, Mary, and Julie are hurt by Jill’s suspicions, suspicions rooted in her deep-seated fear of a problem drinker.

Witnessing the effects of a woman tortured decades later by memories of abusive behavior reminded me of when I started teaching. Student stories generated from guest speakers struggling with drinking problems prompted disturbing in-class revelations. Those stories stuck and now come out as part of Jill’s experiences. Seeing classmate attitudes change, convinced me to share how Jill was haunted decades later.

Book Cover, Like a Poem

Book cover, like a poem, like an Ukrainian Easter Egg

     In each case above, every detail is important. In an Easter Egg, colour is important. The photo of the cover doesn't show that the top of the image is a lighter shade of black than the bottom.

     Black suggests mystery, a place where danger may lurk. Jill's black hair and jacket suit her. To her husband, Joseph, many times Jill's odd behaviour is a mystery to him. The dark background represents people from Jill's childhood that Jill would like to forget about, hide from. Memories of her parents and a friend who hoped for a romantic relationship continue to haunt and frighten her.

     The red suitcases have multiple meanings. Red frequently connotes danger. For Jill, the two defence mechanisms she uses to manage her fears from her past are dangerous. The two suitcases on either side of her face act like a horse's blinkers giving her tunnel vision, giving her a narrow perspective or understanding of events that face her. As a result she makes choices that are frequently not in her best interest. One regrettable decision was running away from her grandmother, one of the few people that she knew who was trying to help her. Suitcases or baggage, suggests travel or in Jill's case running away. She runs from challenges she fears or she can't control.

     Roses are often thought of as a symbol of love. Because of her father's heavy drinking, Jill's home life suggests manipulation, not love, is the way to live. As a result Jill hungers for love, but doesn't recognize it. In the image below she sees love, the rose, but she isn't holding it.

     The rose also symbolizes Josey, her grandmother. Because roses were an important landscaping element in Josey's home, the sight of roses often reminds Jill of her grandmother. A rose is both beautiful and prickly. Josey was beautiful in that she was loving, intelligent, wealthy and women capable of doing what seemed to be impossible. At times Josey's human side rubbed some people the wrong way. The throne like pain that she caused strained relationships.

     The rose and suitcases are only a few of the symbols in Baggage burdens.

     The title, Baggage burdens.  is to be printed in white at the top. The author's name, Ken Saik,  will be in white at the bottom.  It is hoped that the sharp colours, red, black and white, will catch a browser's eye. The title will develop an inquiring response. Hopefully the opening, the first few paragraphs, will result in a sale. One has to have dreams.

It's been said, "a picture is worth a thousand words." How about a book cover? Is it as important as the title or more important? What do you think?

Arresting Title

    Arresting Title

 The right word is essential in poetry. Every word must pay its weight. If not, it's OUT.
     At a writer's conference a similar instruction was given for respect to the title of magazine articles, stories, chapters, or novels. A title must stop a viewer and engage a potential reader to investigate your work.
     One of the two words I chose for my family/faith novel is burdens. Usually no one looks for burdens. Life gives us enough demands. Why look for more? A burden isn't a challenge, a goal that you choose. A dictionary definition––a burden is an onerous or difficult concern.
     If someone close to you has a burden, you may want to help her or him. Depending on the nature of the friend's problem, a draining, lengthy commitment may be required. That's the situation that Joseph, an important character in my novel, finds himself in. To him, Jill is worth it. Her past, a daughter of a violent, heavy drinking father, means he needs to be a patient, gentle man. No problem.
     Yes problem. If burdens is seen as a noun, a plural noun then a reader may suspect that  Jill has more than one problem. While Jill is vaguely aware of  past scars caused by her problem-drinking father, she has another problem, which she has repressed. Neither she nor Joseph is adequately prepared to face these burdens.
    If burdens is seen as a verb, then an active, even aggressive influence is implied. My title departs from the norm. The first letter of burdens is in lower case. A period follows. If the sentence title catches a reader's eye, then an alternate meaning for the title may be suspected. If not, after reading the novel a reader will see that dealing with another's baggage, can be a mistake.
     The second important word in the title is baggage. If baggage conjures the image of luggage, of travel. One might anticipate adventure. Since baggage is coupled with burden, then the impression may be of a person coming with baggage, with issues, with problems they haven't or can't solve. Such individuals are usually avoided. If the baggage is small, concrete, clearly definable, like a piece of luggage, problems may be manageable. If the scars are psychological, as Jill's are, then husband Joseph and Jill are in for a roller coast ride.
     Two loaded words make up the title of my novel, Baggage burdens.

Humble or NOT

     As a new writer lacking confidence in one's work is normal. Confidence in a piece of work grows with feedback from others––what they like, what is not clear. From feedback comes polishing, polishing, polishing. Soon your work shines. 
     Pride then pokes its head out of the soil like a leaf in the spring. Highlighting specific words, phrases, images, or references that you planted in your work is an expression of joy, a means of exciting someone else about your work. I see the focus on the strengths of a new creation as fans praising their winning sports team, talking about the crucial plays, the hero players. Like excited fans of a winning team I can't wait to share the good news of my new piece.  
     A cloud over this time of joy is that identifying the gems of your work can be seen as bragging. That negative impression pelts down on enthusiasm like hail. On the other hand if you want to sell your written work, you need the excitement of finding sparkling jewels. If you can't see the beauty in your work, how do you expect others to want to explore what you laboured on?  Keeping silent, saying nothing about your pride and joy means you might not make a sale. 
     In future posts I ask for forgiveness for identifying what I love about a piece of my writing, for being in love with what I created.

Tentative Stepping

Tentative Stepping

Shall I

in the light of a new moon

poked by past’s short comings

dare to determine a brighter future

favor a lofty goal

pumped with high values, like a bulging bicycle tire?

Hobbled by weak will,

a commitment breaker,

can I

call on an accepting, supportive family

call on inquisitive, gentle, persistent urging friends

to invest iron into my will?

Eager for transformation,

anticipating uplifting arms

I resolve

to . . .

There are many phrases I like in this poem.
The second line captures the feeling of one who is starting something that they are not completely familiar.  That's how I feel about blogging. There is so much to learn.
The last two lines of the first stanza indicate I appreciate the values of being a good blogger.
The next stanza is a confession. I failed at blogging before even though I've taken a lesson on it.
Learning can't take place unless one takes the plunge. That's the point of my last stanza. Even then hesitation remains as the last line hints.
Now you see my attempt at approaching a new year's resolution and my goal. How did I do?