Problem Drinker

Problem Drinker!

“Problem drinker! Me? No way.”

That denial would be the response of Jill’s father in my novel, Baggage burdens.

“I may have a drink or two, now and then, especially before a party. It helps me relax, enjoy myself, enjoy others. Everyone does it. What’s the harm in that?”

                         

            

 While Jill is in her early teens, she isn’t afraid of being punched. She dares to tell her father “your after-work drinking with the guys isn’t just now and then. It’s every weekend, and many times during the week.”

Jill’s challenge is the tip of the iceberg. Her father’s alcohol-fueled anger embarrasses her to such a degree that she refuses to invite friends home. Her apparent aloofness results in Jill having very few friends.

At times Jill’s mother, understanding the cause of Frank’s drinking, attempts to cool Jill’s burning hostility by defending Jill’s father. Jill’s enabling mother sometimes leaves Jill with the feeling that her mother doesn’t like her.

Strained relations often lead to family breakups. Frank’s first few swallows of booze wash away the effects of calling the police, his apologies and promises. Unable to stand the volatile home atmosphere, Jill’s older sister, Kathy, runs away. Three years later Jill does too. More years pass before Alice leaves her husband.

Stories of social drinking leading to family disaster are common from people in AA, Al-a-non, Al-a-teen and Teen Challenge. Certainly Jill’s mother couldn’t see that her soon-to-be-husband’s social drinking would lead to the destruction of her family.

What makes Jill’s story different is the far-reaching effects of her father’s drinking. To understand its impact, one must recognize Jill’s prime motivation for running away––FEAR. Her emotional response generalizes to rejecting anyone who moderately drinks. She intends to avoid her mother’s mistake. Connections Jill makes to an intoxicated person––smoking, beards, raised voices, and loud noises, all images related to her father––serve to arouse Jill’s distrust. Later she extends her apprehension to all men after an inebriated, male friend takes advantage of her.

A lengthy absence from her father fails to diminish Jill's anxiety to images associated with alcoholic drinkers. Later a doctor in the hospital, Jill's husband, Joseph, her eldest son, Daniel, all experiences the effects of her mistrust. Others close to Jill, a respected grandmother, her mother and friends like Dave, Ben, Mary, and Julie are hurt by Jill’s suspicions, suspicions rooted in her deep-seated fear of a problem drinker.

Witnessing the effects of a woman tortured decades later by memories of abusive behavior reminded me of when I started teaching. Student stories generated from guest speakers struggling with drinking problems prompted disturbing in-class revelations. Those stories stuck and now come out as part of Jill’s experiences. Seeing classmate attitudes change, convinced me to share how Jill was haunted decades later.