Where Was God When I Needed Him?

Where Was God When I Needed Him?

No peace? In the last blog I suggested Luke 2 verse 14 could lead one to look to God for help. Sound far-fetched? Jill would think so.

Jill is the protagonist, in my novel, Baggage burdens. She would have asked where was god when I needed him? Where was he when Dave betrayed me? In the middle of the night I was forced to run away from Dave? It was dark. I was alone with no place to sleep. Where was God when Dave came after me in Brampton and later tried to find me in Camrose?

Jill’s feelings of being abandoned and not being loved stem from her teen years when she still lived at home. Her sister, Kathy, ran away. She couldn’t live with an alcohol-loving father. Jill felt abandoned by her sister. Jill's highly critical father left Jill feeling unworthy of love. Alice, Jill’s mother, endured physical abuse because of Jill’s perceived disobedience. Jill thought she was a painful burden for her mother. How could a mother love such a child? Also how could God love such an unworthy child? How could he bring her peace? Just to survive, never mind have peace, Jill had on rely on her wits.

 Often people fail to see the Lord working in their lives, keeping them safe. This is especially true when one is steeped in pain. Vision is frequently limited. Such could be said for Jill. See could not see the Lord lifting her up, carrying her in her times of turmoil.

When Jill first ran away from Dave, the Lord carried Jill’s feet to His servants, Gramma Maxwell, Mary Robertson and later to Josey, Jill grandmother. When Jill ran away from Dave’s attempt for reconciliation the Lord brought her to the home of another of His servants, Mary Preschuck. When Jill attempted to escape the detective, Jill accepted the loving arms of Joseph, also the Lord’s servant.

How do these events appear in the novel?

The table creaks as Gramma Maxwell leans on it to go to turn the burner off. Her walk to the stove is unsteady. “So, you have no job.”

Jill nods. 

“And no place to sleep tonight.”

Jill nods again.

“Or the following night?” 

Jill looks down shaking her head. 

“I see.” Mrs. Maxwell pauses. “Jill.” She waits until Jill looks at her. 

Tears blur Jill’s vision.

“I want to thank you for showing that you thought you could trust me. I’m sure this wasn’t easy.” She pauses for a few seconds. 

Jill wraps her hands around the teacup, absorbing its heat. 

“I have to tell you there isn’t very much I can do for you.” Mrs. Maxwell pauses.

‘Oh no, no.’ Jill can’t believe that she will be asked to leave when she finishes her tea. She shivers.

“If you don’t mind, I can bring you a pillow and a blanket and let you sleep in the parlor tonight. The couch isn’t very comfortable, but at least you’ll be warm.”

Jill smiles. As Mrs. Maxwell continues, Jill sips her tea. 

 “For a longer term solution I would like to refer you to Mrs. Robertson. She helps manage the Home-Away-From-Home project. Have you heard of that before?” Reading Jill’s furrowed brow, Mrs. Maxwell elaborates. “Protestant churches in the area fund a couple of houses to provide shelter, some food, and counseling for young people who have serious problems. I expect Mrs. Robertson will be in church later this morning. I’d like to talk to her about your situation. I know she’ll do everything she can for you. She’s done this kind of work for several years. Will you let me talk to her? See if she can help?”

“It’s about time you two finally decided to get married.” She gives Jill a hug, then Joseph.

“You’ll do it?” asks Joseph confidently.

“If she asks me to by her Maid of Honor.” 

“Oh, will you?” Jill adds quickly.

Mary nods enthusiastically. “Okay. When’s the big day?” 

Seeing things start to fall into place faster than she expects, Jill takes the initiative.  “Well that’ll depend upon when we can book a Justice of the Peace. Do you know of any?”  Jill looks to Mary for direction.

Before Mary can speak Joseph cuts in. “Aaahhh, I’d like to see our marriage blessed in the sight of God.” His proclamation is like a plate falling on the floor. Joseph breaks the silence by adding, “I don’t think it can happen in the Orthodox Community Life church. The one I go to.”

The close-knit group doesn’t easily welcome strangers.

“If you don’t mind being married in the United Church I can ask our minister. Jill’s been there a few times, and I think Reverend Swanson remembers Jill.” Mary checks for visual reactions from Jill and Joseph. 

Jill hasn’t established much of a relationship with the United Church minister simply because she hasn’t put an effort. A Justice of the Peace is just as good as far as she is concerned, but, when she sees how her silence transforms Joseph’s face into a concern her decision is easy. “If he can fit us into his schedule. Isn’t he rather busy?” 

The smile returns to Joseph.

beneficial changes: God’s Blessing or Lady Luck?

haiku capsule:                 

peacemaker vessels     

found in God’s faithful servants

heaven’s help is near

      Next blog: Peace continued––

Eyes of Faith