A Sign of Love

SEX - A Sign of Love

Not tonight. I’m tired. I have a headache. No, I’m not in the mood. Those are the characteristics of a woman who doesn’t like to be touched. Beatings from an alcoholic father shaped Jill’s feelings. However, she loved children. Jill became pregnant six times.

Jill is the protagonist in novel, Baggage burdens.

Like her husband one might think Jill sees the purpose of sex is just to have children. Not true.

One story comes to mind that shows that love inspires Jill to have sex. The event takes place when she and her husband, Joseph, are driving home in a snowstorm from Edmonton. The roads appear treacherous to Joseph so he pulls in to a motel.

“We not using highway 21?” Jill asks.

“Highway 2 is a divided highway. Should be safer.”

 Jill studies Joseph as he drives. Both hands firmly grip the steering wheel. His eyes waver from the road once. The radio repeats the weather warning.

As Joseph picks up highway speed, she turns her attention to the road ahead. A white sheet covers the lane to the left. Before them two narrow black paths trace a route where some vehicles already passed. No vehicles are visible. The right shoulder is a soft white pillow, a hazard waiting to grab a careless tire. Jill imagines their vehicle being dragged into the ditch. Then Joseph veers to right. Jill jerks her head up.

“What are you doing?” she asks, as she sees Joseph heading for the exit ramp.

Without taking his eyes off the single set of tracks Joseph answers. “If I’m not mistaken, there’s a motel up ahead, the last one before Leduc. If they have a vacancy sign, I think we should take a room.”

“You sure?” Jill has never known Joseph to let road conditions or weather change his driving plans. She turns the radio down to hear Joseph’s reply clearly.

A soft defeated yeah, escapes Joseph’s lips. As they plow ahead at a decreasing speed, Jill notices Joseph’s right hand race from the wheel to his eye. A quick wipe. His hand re-grips the wheel.

Jill focuses on Joseph’s face instead of the snow on the road ahead. “Joseph, what’s wrong?”

Joseph sucks in a long deep breath before he says, still in a very low voice, “that radio warning––don’t drive unless you have to.” He falls silent again. His hand sweeps away another tear creeping out of the corner of his eye. “That’s the warning my grandmother told me was issued when my parents tried to drive home from Grand Prairie. They didn’t heed the warning. They died.” He takes another deep breath and adds, “I don’t want that for our children.”

Before Jill can respond, Joseph’s arm shoots out pointing to the motel sign. “I knew it,” declares Joseph. A few moments later he adds, “There’s a vacancy.” He shifts into park. “You coming?” he asks as he turns off the engine.

‘I’ve got it,’ thinks Jill. She remembers a play she previewed for the drama club. A smile crosses her face as she recalls the opening scene.

“You coming?” repeats Joseph. He opens the car door.

“You want a married woman to spend a night in a motel with you, right?”

The strange question stops Joseph as he half steps out of the car. He states his affirmative answer. Turning around he looks at her, trying to figure out what she is up to.

“Do you think it’s wise that the clerk knows who the woman is that will be sharing your––”

“Whaaat?” says Joseph as he drags himself back into the car.

“Grabs your attention, doesn’t it?” says Jill grinning. “I just paraphrased an opening scene from a play our drama group half considered.”

“Jill, what does this have to do with anything?” A touch of annoyance colors Joseph’s response.

“Joseph, I want you to trade scenes, the depressing scene of your parent’s death for an alluring fantasy scene, a scene where a guy picks up an attractive lady from a party and brings her to a motel for the night.”

Joseph digests her idea. “A fling?” he ventures.

“With a mystery woman, a once-in-a-life-time opportunity,” clarifies Jill, grinning. She sees Joseph buying into her option. “A secret only you and I will know about.”

Joseph toys with the implication for a few seconds. “Stay here. I’ll go register us.”

He is halfway to the office door by the time Jill rolls down the window and calls out.

“Joseph. Sign us in as Mrs. and Mrs. Smith. And pay cash.”

Jill’s instructions cause Joseph to pause.

“Our secret, remember? No one will know,” she clarifies.

haiku capsule:

painful memory

love suggests a fantasy

wiping tears away

                   

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