Unappreciated Woman

Unappreciated Woman

In my novel, Baggage burdens., Alice Rezley is loved and appreciated by her mother, Josey Sommerfeld, but Alice’s daughter, Jill, dislikes her mother for defending her abusive father. Most of the time Frank, Alice’s husband, treats her like Alice is a live in cook and housekeeper. What gives Alice the strength to love her daughter and her husband in spite of their demeaning treatment?

To understand Jill’s dislike for her mother the reader must first be aware of Frank Rezley’s behavior when he returns home drunk.

Jill’s father takes a deep breath. “What the hell is this?” he demands pointing to the page titled Graduation Gowns.

“It’s nothing,” pleads Alice.

“You’re damn right it’s nothing. We’re not going to waste any money on any foolish dress she’s only going to wear once.” He launches himself out of the chair and rushes at Alice, shoving her hard into the wall. Her head hits starting a headache. It’ll last all night. He grabs her upper arms leaving red marks.

As he shakes her, she cries out, “Frank, you’re hurting me.” When she looks into his face, he blurts out, “You’re not going to buy anything like that. We can’t afford it. Do you hear me?”

“Yes, yes,” Alice answers.

Frank’s grip eases.

Frank reaches the coffee table and bellows, “Where’s the remote?” 

Alice remembers moving it to make room for Jill’s stage.

“Under the coffee table,” she calls back as she carries his slippers. Alice starts up the stairs. 

Frank doesn’t hear her.

“What’s this junk doing here?” 

“Don’t worry, I’ll put it away.” Alice guesses her husband is referring to Jill’s homework assignment on the coffee table.

“What’s the matter with that girl? Can’t she ever put her own stuff away?”

Frank bends over the table like a huge bear in a stream looking for fish. He raises his arm high. Then he bats the cardboard structure. Jill’s creation flies across the room and crashes into the far wall leaving a trail of debris.

“How am I supposed to find the remote?”

“Frank, that’s Jill’s homework assignment!” 

She tosses his slippers near the coffee table.

“The remote is by your slippers.”

Alice hurries to investigate the damage to Jill’s stage. 

Before Alice reaches the stage, she hears a howl of pain. Frank’s toes rammed into the coffee table leg slowing his pursuit of Alice. He reaches her, as she bends down and scoops up the model.  Alice crashes into the wall with Frank falling heavily against her.

“What do you think you’re doing?” 

“Trying to salvage Jill’s home work. What do you think?” Anger slips out of Alice before she realizes it.

“I’ll tell you what I think. I think you’re doing a poor job of raising that kid.” Frank shoves himself away from the wall, grabs Alice by her arms and shakes her. “How many times have I told you? Tell her to clean up when she’s finished.  How many times?”

Fear replaces Alice’s anger. Half crying, she answers, “I don’t know.”

“Too many times. That’s how many. Too many times.”

Gripped by fear Alice looks for a defense. “She doesn’t listen,” whines Alice, feeling overwhelmed. Pain pierces her arms. “I can’t control her.”

“Doesn’t listen,” shouts Frank.

“Yes,” she pleads in desperation, hoping he’ll release his grip, hoping she’ll escape blame.

Shortly after this event Jill runs away from home.

Jill is home from the hospital holding her new born in her arms and sitting before the fireplace.

“What are you up to Dan?” whispers Jill, as she adjusts his blanket. “Leave this on. I don’t want you to catch a cold. You know, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t want to lose you.”  She pauses, savoring the thought. ‘I’m a mother. And I’ll be the best mother in the world, unlike my mother.’ She closes her eyes and hums softly to Daniel.

“Daniel!” shouts Jill, trying to stop her son. “Show some respect. I’m your mother.” The words echo in Jill’s memory as she remembers her mother demanding she show respect for her father. A chill of guilt seeps into her. ‘Am I as bad as my father, needing my mother to demand respect?’

Here Jill is hit by two disturbing impressions. First she is uncaring like her father. Second she is like her mother demanding respect for someone who does not deserve it.

Jill frequently disagreed with how her mother dealt with her father’s drinking. Jill wanted her mother to take a firm stand against Frank; she wanted her mother to leave Frank. Alice disagreed and at times asked for patience from Jill. What hurt Jill most was her mother’s statement that Jill doesn’t listen and “I can’t control her.” Respect for Alice eroded.

‘I want to be, a good mother unlike my mother.’

Highlighted in the beams of the late morning sun is the Tylenol container. Last night’s image of the vodka bottle returns. ‘I’m not like my mother ignoring the conditions of my children.’ Her denial forces another perception. ‘No. I’m like my father drinking to avoid reality.’

 While Alice did eventually leave Frank to Josey’s surprise, Alice still kept in telephone contact with him. Alice’s source of strength? Her faith. She knew she was God’s treasured creation. No one could take that away from her. God loved her. She loved Frank. She loved Jill. They too were God’s treasured creations. That vital element in her life she tried to communicate to her husband and daughter by quoting on her tombstone part of 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

haiku capsule

                                                                            frustrated daughter

                                                         violent father shielded

alienation

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