A Closet S k e p t i c

A Closet     S k e p t i c

At one time it wasn’t cool to question whether Santa or the Easter Bunny were real. They were fun loveable figments of the imagination that did no harm. However, in the modern world full of threats, there’s a perceived need to be real. While today the skeptic can easily dismiss that the fat jolly old man in red, his elves and red nosed-reindeer as traditional fairy tails of the distant past that is not true for everything.

A closet skeptics aren’t as comfortable voicing their denial spirit about the virgin birth of Jesus Christ. Unwelcome responses may quickly follow. Virgin birth? Choirs of angels singing in the sky? No. Don’t say that. This is the darkest time of the year. A festive spirit is needed to brighten the day. When you give someone a gift that they are hesitant to buy for themselves, a smile lights up their face, not to mention a merchant’s face. How can one throw a damper on such cheering activities? Reading the Christmas and the Easter stories is as enjoyable as reading the Grimm tales. So a nonbeliever lets a tradition ride on.

Such is the compromising spirit of Jill, the protagonist, in my novel, Baggage burdens. For her all goes well until she finds herself in a religious community that takes their faith seriously. Inconsistencies appear in her actions. Her perceived belief does’t match what she does. The true nature of her character is questioned. Jill being a skeptic is not exposed, but a sense of not belonging grows in Jill. While moving from a conservative church setting to a more liberal church helps, Jill can’t help notice that she isn’t on the same page as her close friends and niece. Still, because of her parents' upbringing, her moral beliefs make her feel more comfortable in some kind of church setting. Until a major crisis upsets Jill’s life, she is able to pass as a believing Christian.

What has caused Jill’s denial spirit? It is a question Jill doesn’t want to address. She fears the answer may expose her as a fraud. She would have to admit that she only sees the Christian story as just that, a story, a good story, but only a story. To whom can she expose this awful secret?

If Jill has her own way, no one will know her real self. However overwhelming challenges forces Jill to choose a confident. While she expects that she can trust no one, she turns to an accepting, faithful man who slowly encourages her to open her closet door and shine a light on the frightening circumstances of her youth.

“Maybe that is something you need to pray about.” Bill glances at Jill for her reaction.

“And that’s another thing I can’t appreciate.” Irritation raises Jill’s voice. She shifts around in her seat, facing Bill, ready to see his reaction as well as hear his words. Now is the time to challenge him.

“Praying?”

“Yes.” Jill’s response is swift, as if she’s blocking a blow and preparing a counterattack. “Every time I hear you pray, do you know how you start? You begin with Dear Father. Do you have any idea what that does to me?” Jill’s challenge shoots out like a machine gun spitting bullets. “It immediately turns me off.”

Bill looks at Jill to determine if he has heard correctly.

haiku capsule:

Fake it. Who will know?

But what if the truth leaks out?

Feeling out of place.

                   

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