Best Kind of Help

The Best Kind of Help

The best kind of help is assistance that is offered when a person feels that they need it. That might sound like common sense, but it isn’t. Support is welcomed to reach a want, but the more valuable aid comes when the help deals with a need, particularly a burning need. Even then such assistance may not be accepted never mind be seen as valuable. If the troubled-person isn’t ready to deal with their predicament, even a patient, persistent, friend isn’t appreciated.

An addict may be aware of a smoking or drinking problem, but until they can personally commit to facing that problem any help offered will just fall by the wayside.

Also a trusted patient, committed friend may not really know what the upsetting problem is. Their assistance, while kind, misses the mark, isn’t accepted. How frustrating. The best support is help that is there when a trouble person says they need it.

Loving family and friends frequently offer support for Jill, the protagonist, in my novel, Baggage burdens. Many times it’s warmly accepted. However, the real issues that drive Jill to actions that aren’t in her best interests are matters she does not want to face. Instead she would rather run away and forget the horrors of her past. Until she decides to deal with the strained relationships with her eldest son, her former boyfriend, her father, she continues to be a concern to her husband, grandmother, niece and friends. Unfortunately it takes years before she's ready for someone to be her lifesaver.

Guessing that Bill wants to help her, Jill chooses her words carefully. “I think he blames me for the divorce.” She looks down.

“So this is a short term problem, a recent development?”

Bill’s question makes Jill think Bill knows more about her strained relationship with her son. She looks up and finds him studying her closely. She reminds herself if she isn’t completely truthful, he will see it in her eyes. He always does.

“No. We’ve never been really close.”

“And you’re comfortable with this?”

“No. Of course not. But there’s nothing I can do about it.”

“And if there is, would you be willing to try?”

“Yes.”

Jill’s quick, firm response convinces Bill she is sincere.

“I might have an idea.” He pauses; afraid to touch what he understands is a festering sore.

“Well?”

Bill looks at Jill’s serious face. “You know in the Bible we’re instructed to confess our sins.” He paraphrases the first and third verses in Psalm 32. “The person who confesses their sins is blessed. The weight of the past mistakes doesn’t become an unbearable burden.”

 “I should ask Daniel for forgiveness?

“To start the healing process, yes. Mend your relationship with Daniel. Then you’ll feel more comfortable phoning and visiting your grandchildren. All I ask is that you think about what I said. When I come back, we’ll talk about it.”

“Come back?

a week later

“As for you not being comfortable talking to Daniel, then don’t do it. If you have a better solution, go with that. Or if you think you can comfortably continue with the way things are now, then do so.”

haiku capsule:

The best helper waits

“I can’t do it by myself.”

Now, time for action

                   

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